I'm going to weigh in here.

I identify as a straight woman.

However, if the circumstances were IDEAL, I would sleep with a woman.

Those ideal circumstances will almost certainly never occur,
and I don't think my life will be any the poorer for it.

Now, let me be crystal clear:  I am pro-LGBT all the way.

And if I WAS bisexual or a lesbian, the closet wouldn't even exist.
I'd smash it to bits.

But I do not identify as bisexual because I really do not feel that this is an accurate description of my sexuality,
DESPITE the fact that I would have sex with a woman under ideal circumstances.

When I was much younger,
I admit, to my great shame,
that if I had heard a man saying something like,

" Oh, I'm not gay, but I don't mind getting a blowjob from a guy, occasionally, "

I would have scoffed and deemed him a closeted homosexual.

Nowadays, I wouldn't, because I have the insight that it is possible to have mutual gratification
without being attracted to the gender of the person you're engaging with.

I can get a neck massage from a man or a woman.

I can have an orgasm with a man or a woman.

The difference is that I could never fall in love with a woman,
want to kiss a woman, hold her hand, or cuddle with her.

I would never have a "girlfriend".

HOWEVER, what is relevant to this discussion is the following point:

If a certain man wants to be intimate with me,
and I do not find him attractive,
would I find intimacy with him repulsive? 

yes, of course.

but the same law applies to women.
If I find her unattractive to begin with,
then needless to say intimacy with her is going to be off the table.

But here's the difference:

Despite being a straight woman,

I am not going to write off intimacy with all women on the basis of their gender, alone.

I am going to base it on how comfortable I feel with that particular woman.

The mere fact that someone has a pussy instead of a cock is not enough to make them automatically repulsive to me, as a potential sexual partner.

It IS enough, however, to tell me that they could never be a serious romantic partner;

because as a straight woman,

both men and women are capable of being repulsive to me,

but only men are capable of arousing passion in me.

The most I can feel with a woman is neutrality.

I just think....just because you feel that way doesn't mean other people are wrong for not feeling that way...I think all people should be safe to feel how they feel about sex. It's when you start judging other people's sexuality that you become a problem.

And of course I mean you generally and not you personally.

But I think it's ok to be sexually repulsed by the idea of men or women or anal sex or hand jobs or whatever thing it is that repulses you for whatever reason. So long as you're not trying to push your views on someone else, then there's no harm in letting yourself feel how you honestly feel.

(October 7, 2015 at 2:41 am)Losty Wrote: And of course I mean you generally and not you personally.

But I think it's ok to be sexually repulsed by the idea of men or women or anal sex or hand jobs or whatever thing it is that repulses you for whatever reason. So long as you're not trying to push your views on someone else, then there's no harm in letting yourself feel how you honestly feel.

I can't argue with that;

however I don't think it hurts to encourage people to challenge THEMSELVES on their initial, knee-jerk reactions to things.

For instance, I would never say to a pair of gay men who decided that they didn't want to have anal sex,
"Oh, but you're gay, you SHOULDN'T have any problem with that! "

but part of the reason I wouldn't say that to them is because a pair of openly gay men have probably already tried or discussed this issue, in some detail, by that point in their lives.

Whereas, if I encountered some rednecky straight guy who couldn't even stand to be in the same room as a gay man (even if the straight guy didn't disagree with LGBT rights), I would encourage, given the opportunity, the straight man to question himself as to WHY simply being in the same room as a gay man was such a repulsive idea?

I'm just saying that people should be willing to ask THEMSELVES why they react with revulsion to things that might not be any threat to them....whether it's something sexual, or something mundane and banal.

Thank you, MTL.

I must sleep. I bid everyone a good night, if its possible. talk to you all tomorrow.

(October 7, 2015 at 3:11 am)MTL Wrote:

(October 7, 2015 at 2:41 am)Losty Wrote: And of course I mean you generally and not you personally.

But I think it's ok to be sexually repulsed by the idea of men or women or anal sex or hand jobs or whatever thing it is that repulses you for whatever reason. So long as you're not trying to push your views on someone else, then there's no harm in letting yourself feel how you honestly feel.

I can't argue with that;

however I don't think it hurts to encourage people to challenge THEMSELVES on their initial, knee-jerk reactions to things.

For instance, I would never say to a pair of gay men who decided that they didn't want to have anal sex,
"Oh, but you're gay, you SHOULDN'T have any problem with that! "

but part of the reason I wouldn't say that to them is because a pair of openly gay men have probably already tried or discussed this issue, in some detail, by that point in their lives.

Whereas, if I encountered some rednecky straight guy who couldn't even stand to be in the same room as a gay man (even if the straight guy didn't disagree with LGBT rights), I would encourage, given the opportunity, the straight man to question himself as to WHY simply being in the same room as a gay man was such a repulsive idea?

I'm just saying that people should be willing to ask THEMSELVES why they react with revulsion to things that might not be any threat to them....whether it's something sexual, or something mundane and banal.

I also agree with this completely. There's nothing wrong with asking or encouraging people to question or challenge themselves.

I just think it's wrong to label a person as a homophobe or a bigot (because let's face it a homophobe is a bigot) just because the personally are disgusted for themselves.

I'm away for one day, and this is what happens!

(October 7, 2015 at 3:11 am)MTL Wrote: Whereas, if I encountered some rednecky straight guy who couldn't even stand to be in the same room as a gay man (even if the straight guy didn't disagree with LGBT rights), I would encourage, given the opportunity, the straight man to question himself as to WHY simply being in the same room as a gay man was such a repulsive idea?

I'm just saying that people should be willing to ask THEMSELVES why they react with revulsion to things that might not be any threat to them....whether it's something sexual, or something mundane and banal.

This is quite the straw-man here. Finding gay sex repulsive inside oneself is not nearly the same as refusing to be in the same room with a gay person. Are you reading what I'm reading? So far as I can see, no one has said they wouldn't share the same space with a gay person. Perhaps you should read what is actually being written in this discussion.

I don't look on gay sex as a "threat" to me, either. But I sure as hell don't want it. Why are my desires -- and my repulsions -- anybody's business, when I already understand that freedom for all to be who they wish is paramount? When I've already gone to the mat for equal rights? My feelings are my own -- but "threatened" isn't one of them.

I've asked myself why I find gay sex repulsive for my own personal circumstances. I don't owe you any answers (although I've given a couple, which you seem to have ignored), so long as I don't push my views on you.

If someone wants to call me a bigot because of that, great, have at it. I know myself, and I know they're wrong about me.

(October 6, 2015 at 7:12 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(October 6, 2015 at 6:03 pm)pocaracas Wrote: Keyword "their".

Other guys' junk is meh... subpar... weird... crooked... ugly... yucky...
you get the picture.

HOMOPHOBIC!!!! 

It's more Other-people's-dicks-phobic
(not sure there's a greek word for that kind of phobia)

I'm ok with homosexual people, as long as they behave in public and can take a "I'm not interested in you" and don't bother anymore.