(December 17, 2015 at 2:09 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: My wife has a permanent poker face and does not share her thoughts feelings or desires. I never have any clue what is going on in her head, whether she is happy sad or just so. She is a complete mystery to me, apparently she loves me very much, but you'd be hard pushed to be able to tell this from anything she does or says unprompted.
Sometimes I long for some feedback on how I am doing, but I only ever get told if I really fuck up somehow.

Here's your Mancard. Shut the fuck up and move on.

(December 18, 2015 at 4:53 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(December 17, 2015 at 2:09 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: My wife has a permanent poker face and does not share her thoughts feelings or desires. I never have any clue what is going on in her head, whether she is happy sad or just so. She is a complete mystery to me, apparently she loves me very much, but you'd be hard pushed to be able to tell this from anything she does or says unprompted.
Sometimes I long for some feedback on how I am doing, but I only ever get told if I really fuck up somehow.

Here's your Mancard. Shut the fuck up and move on.

I see no card, do I get discounts with it?

(December 18, 2015 at 9:51 am)downbeatplumb Wrote:

(December 18, 2015 at 4:53 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Here's your Mancard. Shut the fuck up and move on.

I see no card, do I get discounts with it?

You get free nagging, and two all-expenses-paid (by you) shopping trips per week.

(December 18, 2015 at 2:07 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(December 18, 2015 at 9:51 am)downbeatplumb Wrote: I see no card, do I get discounts with it?

You get free nagging, and two all-expenses-paid (by you) shopping trips per week.

But if you sign up for the Platinum Plus Mancard, in addition to the nagging and shopping trips, you will receive a magical list of honey-do's personalized with your name at the top (magic because every item you get crossed off will be mysteriously replaced by two new items) as well as grudging, distracted sex on each of your birthdays.

(December 18, 2015 at 2:39 pm)Crossless1 Wrote:

(December 18, 2015 at 2:07 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: You get free nagging, and two all-expenses-paid (by you) shopping trips per week.

But if you sign up for the Platinum Plus Mancard, in addition to the nagging and shopping trips, you will receive a magical list of honey-do's personalized with your name at the top (magic because every item you get crossed off will be mysteriously replaced by two new items) as well as grudging, distracted sex on each of your birthdays.

Obviously you haven't read the T&C's on the Platinum Plus Mancard. You get grudging, distracted sex on even numbered birthdays, and indifferent, impatient sex on odd numbered birthdays.

If you want grudging, distracted sex every birthday, you need the Unobtanium Mancard.

(December 18, 2015 at 2:39 pm)Crossless1 Wrote:

(December 18, 2015 at 2:07 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: You get free nagging, and two all-expenses-paid (by you) shopping trips per week.

But if you sign up for the Platinum Plus Mancard, in addition to the nagging and shopping trips, you will receive a magical list of honey-do's personalized with your name at the top (magic because every item you get crossed off will be mysteriously replaced by two new items) as well as grudging, distracted sex on each of your birthdays.

This is the voice of wealth.

I hope the Mancard prohibits being given grudging and impatient sex during rest hours. Being pestered for a quickie at 3am is extremely annoying when you've got to be up at 5:45.

I'll take anything I can get at this point.

You could try simply resigning yourself to a lifetime of loneliness. Works for me, nine times out of ten. 
When it doesn't, Chardonnay helps until the resignation kicks back in.

(December 14, 2015 at 12:44 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: She doesn't give herself credit for being awesome.

Awwwwwwww-dorable.