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Strap in, kiddos, this is a long one.
If you've never had a migraine, I want you to remember your worst hangover headache. Multiply the pain by 10. Keep in the sensory sensitivity - light, sound, scent, touch. Keep the nausea. Keep the sweating and helplessness. Add in visual disturbances, and other symptoms unique to individuals. It's one of the worst kinds of hell.
As I write this, I'm waiting for one of these pills to kick in. I didn't have them last night due to a scrip mix-up whose correction didn't come fast enough, and Target was kind enough to give me an emergency supply after 12 hours of begging. Last night and this morning, I took obscene amounts of ibuprofen to combat the onset of the migraine. (I can't do Excedrin anymore - the acetaminophen upsets my stomach so much that I end up barfing out whatever was trying to help me.) But ibuprofen can only do so much. It lays over a migraine like a tattered blanket against the cold - you're able to function, but you're not happy about it. The migraine is a pot of boiling water, roiling under a lid, steam escaping in sharp jerks. It's a demon behind a door that you're desperately trying to hold shut, and every now and then an arm escapes and slashes at you. It's a field of lava crusted over, the black ripples of new rock only barely hiding the seething mass of fire and pain below, and sometimes spurts of molten earth jet up to remind you that You Are Not In Control.
The only way I got to sleep last night was by filling a gallon freezer bag with ice, laying on my stomach, and draping the bag over my face and neck. The cold and the pressure and the ibuprofen gave me some relief, but I could feel This Thing trying to claw its way out of the pit I was trying to hide it in.
Migraines are personal. Everyone has a different way of experiencing them, which contributes to them being so slippery to the medical industry. I always thought mine were sinus headaches, because that's where they started (in general, though not always). A tell-tale pressure in the sinus cavity - always my left one - turning into an ice pick of pain that gradually rings around my left eye, then travels along that side of my face and head until it feels like heat and pain are melting - almost dripping sensations - onto my neck. I generally don't get auras. Instead, sounds and smells can become unbearable. Heat and cold are insufferable. Even water will make me want to vomit, which is a shame, because staying hydrated is important.
There are a ton of statistics about migraines on health websites, should you wish to look them up, but you should know that they affect women three times as much as men, and that they are listed in one of the top 10 debilitating diseases. They cause sufferers to miss out on so much of life, and not just during the attacks, but because we go out of our way to avoid 'triggers'. And because so many people haven't experienced them, those who sometimes get written off as 'faking it' - the curse of any invisible disease.
I've seen a lot of "migraine relief" suggestions from woosters, particularly on sites women frequent like Pinterest, and they make me unspeakably furious. None of those treatments work. No aromatherapy or "frozen bag of peas on the neck with your feet in hot water" is going to draw out the 'toxin' from a neurological problem, and to espouse such is dangerous, irresponsible, and completely reprehensible. Exactly how hateful of 'chemicals' do you have to be that you'd rather suffer yourself, or make others suffer, in order not to take one of these pills?
Before I had this scrip, I would be in so much pain that I couldn't breathe. I'll spare you the gory details, but I'm not exaggerating to say that I wanted to die. That's right - the pain was so bad, that it was leading me to suicidal tendencies. I had other problems at the time too - depression, etc - but mostly, it was the pain. I understood self-harm then - I knew why someone might engage in the process of "trepanning" - carving pieces of the skull out to relieve pressure or 'let the spirits in'. Mostly, I wanted to scoop my eye out with a spoon and scramble whatever was in that socket like an egg in an effort to get the pain to stop.
These pills don't make me feel great. They feel pretty terrible, actually, in that way that many people complain about: "Oh, the side effects are worse than the problem!" Yeah, they make me dizzy. They make me feel as exhausted as a bad gym bout. They lock of my jaw for a time, and make my whole body ache, and my neck stiffens, and oh god if I don't drink them with something like coffee, they taste so acrid and shitty I want to barf all over again.
But they make the migraine go away.
Within two hours, the worst of the worst is gone. The exhaustion is left, and you'll look "Imitrexy" (translation: like dog shit warmed over). But you won't be hurting. You'll sleep. You'll eat. You'll be able to think.
Ignorance of medicine can throw all of that out the door. This isn't some bullshit problem, like being idiot enough to treat a cold virus with anti-biotics that you don't need. This is a legit problem that needs SCIENCE, not "natural cures" to handle it. Promoting alternatives that have no basis in fact for helping with neurological problems actually puts people in danger.
The next time you see anyone promoting a cute pin claiming "natural alternatives" to things like this, say something about it. Call bullshit on them, and tell them they're being terrible human beings for not having fact checked beforehand. If you know someone suffering, suggest they see a doctor, because pills like these can improve a person's quality of life IMMEASURABLY. This generic version is $10 per pack on insurance. $10. And for the record, that's $20 LESS than before the AFA. Literally, "thanks Obama."
Stop the madness. I'm going to be able to function at my group's social tonight and be a good VP, because of this pill bottle. Thanks, Big Pharma.
(And the #1 Reason to Hate Those Who Hate Big Pharma is vaccines. If you hate vaccines and Big Pharma, you are an asshole, point blank.)
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