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joke time
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I'm beginning to hate word-processing software. Auto-correct has become my worst enema.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
RE: joke time
February 1, 2016 at 7:31 pm
(This post was last modified: February 1, 2016 at 7:33 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Auto correct is the worse.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Bloody terrorists, spoiling everything. I still remember the days when you could find an unattended bag on the train, and your only thought was "I'm fucking having that!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
It recently occurred to me that I haven't been to a rock concert in a long time. I'd give my left arm to see Def Leppard.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
 (February 1, 2016 at 7:05 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I'm beginning to hate word-processing software. Auto-correct has become my worst enema. he problem with auto-correct is that it won't correct you when you leave the L out of public support.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. (February 1, 2016 at 7:52 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Bloody terrorists, spoiling everything. I still remember the days when you could find an unattended bag on the train, and your only thought was "I'm fucking having that!" My high school math teacher revealed a dreadful secret. The news media has everybody focused on al-Qaeda. But the real terrorist is al-Gebra. Innocent looking classrooms all over the western world are littered with weapons of math instruction. Our children are taken out by stealth bombers disguised as pop quizzes. It’s terrible. Just terrible.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.  RE: joke time
February 4, 2016 at 3:40 pm
(This post was last modified: February 4, 2016 at 3:41 pm by Cyberman.)
We had a serious, gritty police drama in the eighties called "Rockcliffe's Babies", in which the guy playing the boss of titular DS Rockcliffe had Jonathan Ross Syndrome; ie, he had trouble getting his tongue around his Rs. Given the name of the detective he needed to chew out, we're already into comedic territory (even if he wouldn't say so himself); and I am convinced the scriptwriters had a bet among themselves as to who could make the poor guy's life a bigger nightmare. What elevated it into pure gold, though, was a scene in which the case du jour had taken a disturbing twist:
Inspector: "Hold it, Wockcliffe, we've got a new pwoblem. It's dwugs." Rockcliffe: "Drugs, sir?" Inspector: "Yes. (long, dramatic pause) Cwack."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (February 1, 2016 at 7:52 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Bloody terrorists, spoiling everything. I still remember the days when you could find an unattended bag on the train, and your only thought was "I'm fucking having that!" Yes, if people are going to leave things lying around now I would appreciate it if it was just a wallet or loose money...
Dying to live, living to die.
Hehe.
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