(May 1, 2016 at 10:59 pm)Little lunch Wrote:

(May 1, 2016 at 10:28 pm)Losty Wrote: I think negative feelings are quite healthy as long as you don't dwell on them.

Apparently there are many studies to prove some sought of link between the mental and physical.
Healthy mind, healthy body. Psychosomatic.
And it goes both ways.
Eg. Am I really feeling sad or do I just have a bad dietary intake and don't exercise enough?
It makes sense to me but I could be wrong of course. :-)

Well, of course unexplained negative emotions aren't good. And maybe all negative emotions really are unhealthy, but I think denying negative emotions when there's a legitimate reason to feel them is really unhealthy too.

I don't like feeling apathy/indifference, but I've come to develop an appreciation for the lack of complexity at times. It makes tough decisions, acting in one's own self-interest, and "getting it done" in general so much easier.

I suppose so. People talk about feeling better after a good cry.
I can't make myself cry. It's a very rare thing. Last time was when I had to get a cat with mouth cancer put down at the vets.
I knew it was going to happen if I stayed to the end but I didn't want her to be alone. The crying did not make me feel better.
I'm just babbling away now so I stop.

(May 1, 2016 at 10:02 pm)Losty Wrote: It's a difficult choice. Emotions are amazing. I think many people don't appreciate them. I was raised not be emotional. Silently contented was my parents' emotion of choice for their girls. Crying was often punished, anger was always punished, excessive happiness was frowned upon and also punish if it included any loud noises (like too much laughing, jumping up and down with Eee). For a long time I struggled to express emotions and for a period...when my emotional health hit rock bottom, I couldn't feel emotions at all. I always refer to that time as when I didn't exist. If you've ever felt such a complete lack of emotion...it's kind of awful.

I like being a bit angry when it's justified. Especially if it means I'm brave enough to stand up for myself. I like being so happy that I can't control the noises that come out of my mouth. I like allowing myself to be completely crushed with sadness, especially because it makes the sadness last a much shorter period of time when you let yourself feel it. Obviously love. Love is a blissful feeling. I don't think it can be so simple as to be called an emotion though, love tends to come with a healthy dose of every emotion.

I think misery is my favorite I don't actually enjoy feeling it but it brings out my creative side. I do my best writing when I let myself drown in my own darkness. The only bad thing is, it can be hard to pull yourself free if you're not careful.

That's a very thoughtful analysis Losty  And you're right, emotions are amazing, just as is everything about the mind. I'm both very emotional and very closed off at the same time. I'm used to shit in my life and I'm stoic about it... I very rarely grieve loss or let myself wallow in it... so I don't cry very much. Nor do I let myself feel regret or 'what if' when I make mistakes because I see no point in crying over spilt milk. Likewise I try to use mindfulness to shut down some feelings before they have a chance to grow strong and hurt me in the long run... and anger is one of them. Anger can feel good and empowering in the moment, as you say, but given the choice I'd rather not feel it because whether directed at myself or at someone/something else IMO it's ultimately unfulfilling and rarely solves anything, and usually makes things worse. But for me mindfulness only really works well when it's about nipping something in the bud, before it's had a chance to properly form... if I miss that opportunity then I tend to feel the full force of the emotion, wallowing in it and finding it hard to get out. So in other words I find it hard to be mindful when I'm actually caught up in an emotion, but I wish I could because that would solve a lot of problems, and lead to true emotional mastery.

Thena, you ninja'd me. I was replying to Losty.:-)

(May 1, 2016 at 11:14 pm)Little lunch Wrote: I suppose so. People talk about feeling better after a good cry.
I can't make myself cry. It's a very rare thing. Last time was when I had to get a cat with mouth cancer put down at the vets.
I knew it was going to happen if I stayed to the end but I didn't want her to be alone. The crying did not make me feel better.
I'm just babbling away now so I stop.

Having to put a pet down is no fun. I sat with my friend's cat because she didn't want her to be alone but couldn't bear to stay. I cried too. I don't know if crying makes everyone feel better. But when you're sad and you deny that sadness it festers. The same with anger.

(May 1, 2016 at 11:07 pm)Losty Wrote:

(May 1, 2016 at 10:59 pm)Little lunch Wrote: Apparently there are many studies to prove some sought of link between the mental and physical.
Healthy mind, healthy body. Psychosomatic.
And it goes both ways.
Eg. Am I really feeling sad or do I just have a bad dietary intake and don't exercise enough?
It makes sense to me but I could be wrong of course. :-)

Well, of course unexplained negative emotions aren't good. And maybe all negative emotions really are unhealthy, but I think denying negative emotions when there's a legitimate reason to feel them is really unhealthy too.

I don't believe in negative emotions, only appropriate and inappropriate emotions and functional and dysfunctional ways of dealing with them.

And sure, some emotions feel a lot better than others. But we evolved to feel all the emotions we do for a reason -- even deep despair, fear, anger, paranoia, sorrow. It's a question of how long it lasts and how we deal with them, it's a question of whether we beat our selves up for having them, whether we get miserable about being miserable... or not.

I think some emotions are far better for us and more healthy than others, and some are unhealthy -- just not "negative" because it's okay to not feel okay, even when it's bad for us, if the alternative, not feeling at all, is worse -- but the healthier emotions are not always available and it's more healthy to feel something, anything, than nothing: it's all about how we deal with them.

That's what I believe. We probably believe similar things, if not the same

(May 1, 2016 at 11:21 pm)Losty Wrote: I don't know if crying makes everyone feel better. But when you're sad and you deny that sadness it festers. The same with anger.

I sometimes feel like I'm the only person who so far in my life has always felt better and relieved when I cry. I love crying. I don't enjoy the sorrow before the crying, but the crying, for me personally, is the relief and end of a bout of sadness. If I start feeling awful again, it's after I stop crying.

Maybe I just spent so many years feeling empty and nothing that crying is always a relief to me: but still, even as a child, I don't remember the crying making me feel worse, I just remember what I was crying about making me feel worse, but when I didn't cry, I felt even worse, so the crying, always made me feel better.

(May 1, 2016 at 11:14 pm)Emjay Wrote:

(May 1, 2016 at 10:02 pm)Losty Wrote: It's a difficult choice. Emotions are amazing. I think many people don't appreciate them. I was raised not be emotional. Silently contented was my parents' emotion of choice for their girls. Crying was often punished, anger was always punished, excessive happiness was frowned upon and also punish if it included any loud noises (like too much laughing, jumping up and down with Eee). For a long time I struggled to express emotions and for a period...when my emotional health hit rock bottom, I couldn't feel emotions at all. I always refer to that time as when I didn't exist. If you've ever felt such a complete lack of emotion...it's kind of awful.

I like being a bit angry when it's justified. Especially if it means I'm brave enough to stand up for myself. I like being so happy that I can't control the noises that come out of my mouth. I like allowing myself to be completely crushed with sadness, especially because it makes the sadness last a much shorter period of time when you let yourself feel it. Obviously love. Love is a blissful feeling. I don't think it can be so simple as to be called an emotion though, love tends to come with a healthy dose of every emotion.

I think misery is my favorite I don't actually enjoy feeling it but it brings out my creative side. I do my best writing when I let myself drown in my own darkness. The only bad thing is, it can be hard to pull yourself free if you're not careful.

That's a very thoughtful analysis Losty   And you're right, emotions are amazing, just as is everything about the mind. I'm both very emotional and very closed off at the same time. I'm used to shit in my life and I'm stoic about it... I very rarely grieve loss or let myself wallow in it... so I don't cry very much. Nor do I let myself feel regret or 'what if' when I make mistakes because I see no point in crying over spilt milk. Likewise I try to use mindfulness to shut down some feelings before they have a chance to grow strong and hurt me in the long run... and anger is one of them. Anger can feel good and empowering in the moment, as you say, but given the choice I'd rather not feel it because whether directed at myself or at someone/something else IMO it's ultimately unfulfilling and rarely solves anything, and usually makes things worse. But for me mindfulness only really works well when it's about nipping something in the bud, before it's had a chance to properly form... if I miss that opportunity then I tend to feel the full force of the emotion, wallowing in it and finding it hard to get out. So in other words I find it hard to be mindful when I'm actually caught up in an emotion, but I wish I could because that would solve a lot of problems, and lead to true emotional mastery.

I truly think the way I was raised is the reason I feel differently about this. I don't want to use mindfulness to learn how not to feel certain emotions. I absolutely embrace my ability to feel. I don't even know how to describe how good it feels to feel...anything. So I just let myself feel how I truly feel. If that feeling happens to be negative then I work my way through it. But I won't deny my feelings even if they're bad. I love being able to feel them.

My favorite emotion? I have a few.
-the one I get when I pick up my two sons after their half a week with their dad.
-relief
-lust
-the one I get when a client hugs me and thanks me, and I know they'll get the help they need now.
-the one when I stare at someone back in defiance and I win
-the one I get when I have a short lived affair with bacon, because we break up for months, but have one night stands once in a long while
-the one when my four year old kisses my forehead 
-success (workwise)
-the one right before the first kiss
-the one as I'm typing a good poetry slam piece and my fingers are feeling magical