(August 12, 2016 at 10:48 am)robvalue Wrote: I now have more people who love me now than ever before

Lucky you. I have 2 very good friends who would probably miss me if I had succeeded in my attempt but unfortunately it's not the kind of love I'm looking for and need.

(August 12, 2016 at 10:59 am)Atheist_BG Wrote: Lucky you. I have 2 very good friends who would probably miss me if I had succeeded in my attempt but unfortunately it's not the kind of love I'm looking for and need.

Well, what are you looking for?

(August 12, 2016 at 10:41 am)Faith No More Wrote: Thanks, guys.

Yeah, it was rough.  But I just tell myself that there are many people around the globe that go through much worse on a daily basis.  It's a brutal world out there and I consider myself lucky if that's the extent of If have to endure.  It's been 14 years now, so I have 99.9% coped with it, Every once in a while the pain will come back like if I have a dream with him in it.  The images I saw that day, while not quite as crystal clear as they were for the first few years afterwards, are still quite prevalent in my mind.  It was weird, because the looks on the faces of my family and friends said that they expected me to be next, since I had already tried to kill myself once before.  I swore to prove them wrong and used their expectation of my suicide as a motivator.  I was also resolved to never, ever consider suicide after seeing first hand all the pain that was spread around to his friends and family.

It definitely made me a much stronger person.

I don't know if I ever told you this but I found my mother after she attempted suicide thirty some years ago. She lived, but that touched me in some very profound ways that are still with me today. Likewise, that experience has been enough to keep me alive through some very dark times when I think I otherwise might not.

(August 12, 2016 at 11:06 am)Faith No More Wrote:

(August 12, 2016 at 10:59 am)Atheist_BG Wrote: Lucky you. I have 2 very good friends who would probably miss me if I had succeeded in my attempt but unfortunately it's not the kind of love I'm looking for and need.

Well, what are you looking for?

Someone to spend my life with. But I didn't find them in my 32 years, so I have already gotten used to being alone. I have 2 very good friends, tons of just friends but no one to spend my life with.

(August 12, 2016 at 11:18 am)Atheist_BG Wrote: Someone to spend my life with. But I didn't find them in my 32 years, so I have already gotten used to being alone. I have 2 very good friends, tons of just friends but no one to spend my life with.

And what makes you desire to have someone to spend your life with?

The fear of being alone. What is so hard to understand?

No need to be like that.

(August 12, 2016 at 11:32 am)Atheist_BG Wrote: The fear of being alone. What is so hard to understand?

Oh, I understand it just fine. It's just that when some people feel they need a mate in order to make themselves feel better, often times the root problem is actually their own personal insecurities and lack of self-esteem. That's why they want the validation that comes with having a significant other. What that person really needs to do is learn to accept themselves and love themselves, which coincidentally, would make finding a mate easier.

I'm not saying that's you. Just some food for thought.

(August 12, 2016 at 11:33 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: No need to be like that.

Like what? That was just a question, nothing more. I just find it weird that someone would want to stay alone forever and without someone to love and be loved by. That is why I asked what is so hard to understand.

(August 12, 2016 at 11:40 am)Atheist_BG Wrote: Like what? That was just a question, nothing more. I just find it weird that someone would want to stay alone forever and without someone to  love and be loved by. That is why I asked what is so hard to understand.

See my post above.