(September 17, 2016 at 11:31 pm)Nymphadora Wrote:

(September 17, 2016 at 10:57 pm)bennyboy Wrote: Gimme!

Did you see the pic in the other thread?

. . . ummmm. . . no, but I want to!  Is it a picture of yummy spaghetti?

(September 17, 2016 at 11:33 pm)Nymphadora Wrote:

(September 17, 2016 at 10:58 pm)bennyboy Wrote: I've been kind of trying to little-by-little clean my bedroom.  Every time I go to the kitchen, I make sure to take any dishes, grab a couple pieces of laundry to throw in the laundry room, grab a rag while I'm in the kitchen anyway so I can wipe down my desk or whatever.

My room is really a lot cleaner than it usually is, and I'm starting to kind of feel happy about that.

There's a certain freedom and relief that comes with having a clean room

Yeah, it's not just the room, either.  Having a cleaner room has made me feel like I have a little control over my environment and my life.  I took the kids out to play ball hockey today instead of just trolling on my computer all day, and that was a big positive, too.  Hopefully these baby steps will lead me back to a serious exercise and diet program, and some other good changes, too!

But the thing I'm most proud of right now is this thread. I'm really happy the way people are coming together so far, that really makes me feel inspired. I hope it keeps going like this!

Can definitely agree about keeping the place clean. I've started improving things around my flat as well. I really suffer from dust allergies. I've been vacuum cleaning the carpet, recently bought a steam mop for it as well to kill off the dust mites. I bought a mattress cover that completely encloses it. It's all beginning to help. And that's led to me cleaning up the place a lot more and keeping it tidy.

(September 18, 2016 at 6:00 am)bennyboy Wrote:

(September 17, 2016 at 11:31 pm)Nymphadora Wrote: Did you see the pic in the other thread?

. . . ummmm. . . no, but I want to!  Is it a picture of yummy spaghetti?

No...it was the pic of my homemade sauce, in an incredibly sexy cast iron pan

The room cleaning thing is having a weird result. It's like part of my mind is connected to the things in my room. Now that it's really getting a lot neater, I feel like I've released some mental energy-- it's like my thinking is clearer. I'm sleeping better, having nice dreams, waking up feeling more rested.

I'm surprised how much effect it's having just taking control over that small little part of my life.

Also. . . please guys don't give up on this thread. Having someone to talk to about stuff was really helping me a lot. I need you guys.

(September 22, 2016 at 10:38 am)bennyboy Wrote: The room cleaning thing is having a weird result.  It's like part of my mind is connected to the things in my room.  Now that it's really getting a lot neater, I feel like I've released some mental energy-- it's like my thinking is clearer.  I'm sleeping better, having nice dreams, waking up feeling more rested.

I'm surprised how much effect it's having just taking control over that small little part of my life.

Also. . . please guys don't give up on this thread.  Having someone to talk to about stuff was really helping me a lot.  I need you guys.

I've been keeping my flat clean as well now. Which is kind of tough because I don't have anywhere to store anything. But it's done my nose a world of good. I suffer from allergies but I've been getting on top of the dust problem. Doing things like encasing the mattress in a cover, using a steam mop on the carpet to kill off dust mites, washing the sheets at 60C for example. That and making sure I have more iron in my diet because apparently I've been slightly anaemic. That's been affecting my immune system too.

I went 5 whole hours without wishing for death today.

(September 22, 2016 at 3:37 pm)Losty Wrote: I went 5 whole hours without wishing for death today.

I've been there. Was obsessed with it at every waking moment. Then one day in February it was a nice spring like day, the first one in many months. I was waiting at a train station and I realised just how focused my perception had become and how I had got caught up in this cycle of brooding about negative things.

It was a long journey back but it can certainly be done.

(October 4, 2016 at 10:23 am)Mathilda Wrote:

(September 22, 2016 at 3:37 pm)Losty Wrote: I went 5 whole hours without wishing for death today.

I've been there. Was obsessed with it at every waking moment. Then one day in February it was a nice spring like day, the first one in many months. I was waiting at a train station and I realised just how focused my perception had become and how I had got caught up in this cycle of brooding about negative things.

It was a long journey back but it can certainly be done.

It just hangs there in the back of my mind. Screwing up everything else I try to think about. I'm just trying to hold on right now. I know I'll find my way back to a sense of normality eventually. I'm glad you're feeling better Tildie <3

Haven't smoked for a couple of days and don't feel like starting again yet.