I don't think, or I'm quite sure that an adult being attracted to children isn't something one decides, the major problem is when one acts upon those urges. I hope we'll be able to 'fix' this problem sometime, whether it requires gene modification, theraphy w/e.

(October 24, 2016 at 9:56 am)Huggy74 Wrote:

(October 23, 2016 at 11:34 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: People who are attracted to kids don't choose to be that way. Whether they are born that way, or whether they developed it due to environmental factors in their early life, or whether it's a little of both, we do not know. We only know that they do not choose to have this attraction. 

They can, however, choose not to *act* on it. Whether that be by looking at child porn, statutory rape, or full on rape, I can imagine it can't be easy to completely suppress such a strong compulsions. I don't think it is something they can do on their own without intensive psychological care, which they should seek. 

People who are attracted to children, and who, instead of acting on it, come forward to seek help instead, should be applauded for doing the difficult yet moral thing. Not shamed for an attraction they have no control over.

Check this guy out, he can't even control himself on tv.

What the eff??

(October 24, 2016 at 7:27 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm no expert so I wouldn't know the most effective treatments. But at the very least, kindness and understanding go a long way. The opportunity for whatever treatment there is has to be better than nothing, plus the support of friends and society. If you think all of that wouldn't possibly ever do anything, you're letting your hatred affect your judgement.

I still don't understand the problem. There are innocent paedophiles out there, and we have no idea who they are. We have two choices. We either let them come forward so we can support them, to help them in whatever the best ways available are to reduce the chance they will offend; or we tell them all en masse that if we find out who they are, even if they've done nothing wrong, they'll be ostracised.

Just so we're clear -- I'm not saying we should hate someone for having this urge (which, as noted above, may well be the inheritance of genetics or childhood abuse itself, and not really a choice). But just as once we identify someone in our lives who seems sociopathic or psychopathic we take steps to minimize our risk to them, parents would not only be right but responsible to minimize the exposure to their kids to a pedophile, and yes -- ostracization is on the menu.

I understand what you're saying -- driving these folks underground using stigma makes it harder to deal with the issue. What I'm saying is that for many, many people, their more immediate concern precludes accepting pedophiles into their lives in any open manner.

(October 24, 2016 at 10:18 am)Huggy74 Wrote:

(October 24, 2016 at 10:07 am)Irrational Wrote:

(October 24, 2016 at 9:56 am)Huggy74 Wrote: Check this guy out, he can't even control himself on tv.

Holy fuck. That was creepy.

I know right? Sounded like some lady called him a dirty old man at 1:21... lol.

I couldn't make it that far.

(October 24, 2016 at 9:56 am)Huggy74 Wrote:

(October 23, 2016 at 11:34 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: People who are attracted to kids don't choose to be that way. Whether they are born that way, or whether they developed it due to environmental factors in their early life, or whether it's a little of both, we do not know. We only know that they do not choose to have this attraction. 

They can, however, choose not to *act* on it. Whether that be by looking at child porn, statutory rape, or full on rape, I can imagine it can't be easy to completely suppress such a strong compulsions. I don't think it is something they can do on their own without intensive psychological care, which they should seek. 

People who are attracted to children, and who, instead of acting on it, come forward to seek help instead, should be applauded for doing the difficult yet moral thing. Not shamed for an attraction they have no control over.

Check this guy out, he can't even control himself on tv.

What the ever-loving FUCK?!?!   Please, someone tell me this guy is in JAIL.  That is one of the grossest things I have ever seen.  I need to wash my eyeballs, and the inside of all of my skin.  *shudder*

(October 24, 2016 at 12:20 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote: What the ever-loving FUCK?!?!   Please, someone tell me this guy is in JAIL.  That is one of the grossest things I have ever seen.  I need to wash my eyeballs, and the inside of all of my skin.  *shudder*

I don't think he is, unfortunately.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergie_Olver

(October 24, 2016 at 12:23 pm)Bella Morte Wrote:

(October 24, 2016 at 12:20 pm)LadyForCamus Wrote: What the ever-loving FUCK?!?!   Please, someone tell me this guy is in JAIL.  That is one of the grossest things I have ever seen.  I need to wash my eyeballs, and the inside of all of my skin.  *shudder*

I don't think he is, unfortunately.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergie_Olver

WOW.  That's frightening.

I'm glad that the discussion has mostly been non-hysterical. It's such a taboo subject that just talking about it is often a problem. That's the first thing that needs to change in my opinion.

If anyone gets the chance to see "The Missing" (series 1), it is a British drama which happens to touch on these issues. It is one of the few shows I've ever seen that shows any paedophile in a somewhat sympathetic light. I think it gives a good portrayal of the misery it can cause someone. I can't imagine how horrible it could be to live with a desire that you yourself most likely find morally repulsive, and one you can't tell anyone even in confidence because it's too risky.

Even though we're not all experts and it's probably still being understood even now, it seems pretty reasonable that it's not something someone can turn off. When you have a sexual urge or tendency, you can try and repress it but you can't just make it go away.

In my understanding, being a paedophile is in addition to any other more "normal" urges. It doesn't necessarily mean you're only attracted to pre-pubscents. (I find defining in terms of legal implications is pretty dumb, personally, since it's a psychological condition.)

(October 25, 2016 at 6:58 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm glad that the discussion has mostly been non-hysterical. It's such a taboo subject that just talking about it is often a problem. That's the first thing that needs to change in my opinion.

If anyone gets the chance to see "The Missing" (series 1), it is a British drama which happens to touch on these issues. It is one of the few shows I've ever seen that shows any paedophile in a somewhat sympathetic light. I think it gives a good portrayal of the misery it can cause someone. I can't imagine how horrible it could be to live with a desire that you yourself most likely find morally repulsive, and one you can't tell anyone even in confidence because it's too risky.

Even though we're not all experts and it's probably still being understood even now, it seems pretty reasonable that it's not something someone can turn off. When you have a sexual urge or tendency, you can try and repress it but you can't just make it go away.

In my understanding, being a paedophile is in addition to any other more "normal" urges. It doesn't necessarily mean you're only attracted to pre-pubscents. (I find defining in terms of legal implications is pretty dumb, personally, since it's a psychological condition.)

This one?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Missing_(TV_series)

Here's a question: if a friend confided in you that they were a paedophile (not an abuser), would it affect your friendship?

If someone was brave enough to tell me, I'd think no less of them. I'd want to support them with their struggle to cope with it.

I'm also wondering about a legal issue. If someone tells a therapist or similar in confidence, are they allowed/obliged to report this? I would hope not, unless they thought there was genuine impending danger.