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a new atheist and marriage
#31
RE: a new atheist and marriage
Well let's see....

I was working until about a month ago. Back to being a SAHM. However.... DrFuzzy mentions in her post a part about being a SAHM while the dad works and is the major bread winner and how he gets to decide how the money is spent.

This might be true in many households, but not in mine. I control where the money goes. He makes it, I see fit to keep the roof over our heads and the bills paid. If not - we wouldn't be in a house. He has zero control over himself when he has money in his hands. Wants to spend, spend, spend. I can't live like that and I won't. I have to know that we have xx amount set aside for an upcoming bill, that way when it comes in, we pay it right away.

If you put $100 in his hands and $100 in mine - at the end of the day, he will have spent most of it on shit he doesn't need. At the end of the day, I will have that same $100 in my hands because I'm saving it to pay on a bill. That is the difference between the two of us.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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#32
RE: a new atheist and marriage
Traditional roles were created by humans and human societies just like their religions were. God had nothing to do with marriage customs. Marriage is a human arrangement. As an atheist you are free to borrow any societal norm and make it your own. Then again, if you think you can come up with something totally unique, give it your best shot.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#33
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 11:15 am)Nymphadora Wrote: Well let's see....

I was working until about a month ago. Back to being a SAHM. However.... DrFuzzy mentions in her post a part about being a SAHM while the dad works and is the major bread winner and how he gets to decide how the money is spent.

This might be true in many households, but not in mine. I control where the money goes. He makes it, I see fit to keep the roof over our heads and the bills paid. If not - we wouldn't be in a house. He has zero control over himself when he has money in his hands. Wants to spend, spend, spend. I can't live like that and I won't. I have to know that we have xx amount set aside for an upcoming bill, that way when it comes in, we pay it right away.

If you put $100 in his hands and $100 in mine - at the end of the day, he will have spent most of it on shit he doesn't need. At the end of the day, I will have that same $100 in my hands because I'm saving it to pay on a bill. That is the difference between the two of us.

Thanks Nymphadora!  I was remiss!  I have also seen that arrangement - where the wife is the money manager - I forgot to mention it.  Yes, there are SO many variations when it comes to couples and household management.  I still assert that good communication is key, and equality (as much as is possible!) is optimal.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#34
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 11:21 am)drfuzzy Wrote:
(August 8, 2017 at 11:15 am)Nymphadora Wrote: Well let's see....

I was working until about a month ago. Back to being a SAHM. However.... DrFuzzy mentions in her post a part about being a SAHM while the dad works and is the major bread winner and how he gets to decide how the money is spent.

This might be true in many households, but not in mine. I control where the money goes. He makes it, I see fit to keep the roof over our heads and the bills paid. If not - we wouldn't be in a house. He has zero control over himself when he has money in his hands. Wants to spend, spend, spend. I can't live like that and I won't. I have to know that we have xx amount set aside for an upcoming bill, that way when it comes in, we pay it right away.

If you put $100 in his hands and $100 in mine - at the end of the day, he will have spent most of it on shit he doesn't need. At the end of the day, I will have that same $100 in my hands because I'm saving it to pay on a bill. That is the difference between the two of us.

Thanks Nymphadora!  I was remiss!  I have also seen that arrangement - where the wife is the money manager - I forgot to mention it.  Yes, there are SO many variations when it comes to couples and household management.  I still assert that good communication is key, and equality (as much as is possible!) is optimal.

^^^^^^ SOOOOOO MUCH THIS........... 

Leadership vs being lead is not the key, it isn't about who does what or who makes more, but communication and cooperation and consent. 

I feel the same about doctors and first responders. Why should I give one fuck whom saves my life? I don't see household management any different. If both parties consent and they are happy and it works, then it is nobody else's business who is in the lead.
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#35
RE: a new atheist and marriage
Wow. This thread developed quickly! 

Anyhow, welcome, OP. I'm 41, male, never married, never a father. Can't ever remember wanting either of the above. I am an atheist who is registered Independent. I follow Atheists for Trump and Atheist Conservative on FB. My own beliefs are somewhere in that giant middle. If I were married, I'd prefer she won at least some of the bread, and that we shared household duties (or contracted to a cleaning lady or some other relevant third party). 

I like a lot of what you've said in this thread. My concern would be if death were to do you part, would the surviving party be OK taking all the reins?
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#36
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 7, 2017 at 5:05 pm)Thegoodatheist Wrote: ..traditional gender roles..

I'm not sure I understand what that is?
There have always been women in the forefront of Christianity who never stayed at home all the time, for example the evangelist Philip had four daughters who were preachers; and the early Christian sect in Phrygia was led by Montanus and two preachers Priscilla and Maximilla.
And Paul paid glowing tributes to women -"I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea..she has been a great help to many people, including me..
Greet Priscilla , my fellow worker in Christ Jesus, she risked her life for me.
Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you..
Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa and Persis, those women who work hard in the Lord.
Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.
Greet Julia.." (Romans ch 16)
And he reminds us -
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28 )
So the point is that being a Christian woman in no way stops you from doing whatever you want to do in life..Smile
Below- Church of England women clergy-

[Image: women-clergy_zpsdoawacb2.jpg]
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#37
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 12:12 pm)Dropship Wrote:
(August 7, 2017 at 5:05 pm)Thegoodatheist Wrote: ..traditional gender roles..

I'm not sure I understand what that is?
There have always been women in the forefront of Christianity who never stayed at home all the time, for example the evangelist Philip had four daughters who were preachers; and the early Christian sect in Phrygia was led by Montanus and two preachers Priscilla and Maximilla.
And Paul paid glowing tributes to women -"I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea..she has been a great help to many people, including me..
Greet Priscilla , my fellow worker in Christ Jesus, she risked her life for me.
Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you..
Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa and Persis, those women who work hard in the Lord.
Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.
Greet Julia.." (Romans ch 16)
And he reminds us -
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28 )
So the point is that being a Christian woman in no way stops you from doing whatever you want to do in life..Smile
Below- Church of England women clergy-

[Image: women-clergy_zpsdoawacb2.jpg]

And? Still yet to have a female Pope, and I really don't think that will happen anytime soon.

FYI, that picture depicts a revised interpretation reflecting modern morals, not the morals of the writers of that book. The further back in time you go the less rights females had. 

The reason those women do that now is because more people skip over the sexism in the bible and completely ignore it.

Our modern west became civil in spite of that book, not because of it.
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#38
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 12:26 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(August 8, 2017 at 12:12 pm)Dropship Wrote:


And? Still yet to have a female Pope, and I really don't think that will happen anytime soon.

FYI, that picture depicts a revised interpretation reflecting modern morals, not the morals of the writers of that book. The further back in time you go the less rights females had. 

The reason those women do that now is because more people skip over the sexism in the bible and completely ignore it.

Our modern west became civil in spite of that book, not because of it.
<snort>  One thing ya gotta give DropShit, he just keeps on dropping the shit out of his brain and proving it empty.  If he had READ the OP, he would have noted that the poster had abandoned faith and is an atheist.  And her question was about traditional marriage roles, not women in ministry.  Now while it is nice that most "modern" sects have abandoned the imposter Paul's directives, the OP had nothing whatsoever to do with religion. This was a psycho level non-sequitur.  Just what we would expect from someone so pitiable that he spends all his days trolling.

Love your response, Brian!
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#39
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 12:26 pm)Brian37 Wrote: ..Still yet to have a female Pope, and I really don't think that will happen anytime soon.
FYI, that picture depicts a revised interpretation reflecting modern morals, not the morals of the writers of that book. The further back in time you go the less rights females had. 
The reason those women do that now is because more people skip over the sexism in the bible and completely ignore it.
Our modern west became civil in spite of that book, not because of it.

We don't give a rat's ass about the Pope and catholicism, maybe him and his priests just don't like girls..Smile

[Image: pope-women_zpsxeitytwk.jpg~original]

Maybe somebody should remind him that Paul said-
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28 )
And Jesus said to the snooty priests-"The prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you" (Matt 21:31)
And he's got womens backs- "I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt 5:28 )
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#40
RE: a new atheist and marriage
(August 8, 2017 at 3:51 pm)Dropship Wrote:
(August 8, 2017 at 12:26 pm)Brian37 Wrote: ..Still yet to have a female Pope, and I really don't think that will happen anytime soon.
FYI, that picture depicts a revised interpretation reflecting modern morals, not the morals of the writers of that book. The further back in time you go the less rights females had. 
The reason those women do that now is because more people skip over the sexism in the bible and completely ignore it.
Our modern west became civil in spite of that book, not because of it.

We don't give a rat's ass about the Pope and catholicism, maybe him and his priests just don't like girls..Smile


Who gives a shit what the imposter Paul said?  More babble babble babble verses from a stupid whiny little babble babble babble baby.  And DropShit still hasn't even bothered to address the OP.  It's as if someone has brainwashed what little brain he has on a loop.  All he can do it find memes and type babble babble babble verses.  Maybe we should start typing verses back at him.  Maybe from a more interesting book.  Oh let's see:  I like this bit from the great Linus: "He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see."
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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