I still remember the exact day when I began to fear death as a child. It was after a nightmare in which my parents had died. I never talked to my parents about it and suffered in silence, stupid me. They had it easy.

(August 31, 2017 at 4:43 pm)Alex K Wrote: I still remember the exact day when I began to fear death as a child. It was after a nightmare in which my parents had died. I never talked to my parents about it and suffered in silence, stupid me. They had it easy.

You were just a kid, Alex.  You can and should forgive yourself.

For what?

(September 1, 2017 at 9:09 am)Hammy Wrote: For what?

I suppose for the "stupid me"; Alex is definitively not stupid!!  The fact that he "suffered in silence" is not something that he or anyone else can morally impute to him.  It's like saying than an eleven year old can consent to sexual intercourse.  Sex with an eleven year old is never consensual and neither is freely choosing to talk with one's parents about a deep subject such as death; that's their job, not yours, as a child.

Reminds me when my parents blamed me for my own mistake to not want to go to school anymore. I was 6 years old. How many 6 year olds have a hard time at school and don't want to go anymore? It's not exactly the most abnormal or uncommon thing in the world. When they then decide to take me out of school and home educate me until I'm 18.... is that my "mistake"?

(September 1, 2017 at 9:38 am)Hammy Wrote: Reminds me when my parents blamed me for my own mistake to not want to go to school anymore. I was 6 years old. How many 6 year olds have a hard time at school and don't want to go anymore? It's not exactly the most abnormal or uncommon thing in the world. When they then decide to take me out of school and home educate me until I'm 18.... is that my "mistake"?

No.

(August 30, 2017 at 10:42 am)Jehanne Wrote: I am not raising my kids to be atheists, but to think for themselves, and so, we have taught our kids about the existence of Santa Claus, fairies, etc., and I figure, when they get old enough, they'll figure it out.

Why is teaching your kids to think for themselves a reason to lie to them? Isn't it just making it more difficult for them to form a rational world view?

(September 1, 2017 at 1:41 pm)shadow Wrote:

(August 30, 2017 at 10:42 am)Jehanne Wrote: I am not raising my kids to be atheists, but to think for themselves, and so, we have taught our kids about the existence of Santa Claus, fairies, etc., and I figure, when they get old enough, they'll figure it out.

Why is teaching your kids to think for themselves a reason to lie to them? Isn't it just making it more difficult for them to form a rational world view?

My little girl whom I lied to is 6 years old.  I tried and tried (and tried!) to explain to her what would be going on during the August 21st solar eclipse, and she could not understand it.  At first she thought that the Sun was going to "eat" the Moon but then realized that the Sun was simply going "behind" the Moon, but that it was the Sun and not the Moon that was moving; it was the best that I could do.  She had no idea what the "red things" were on the limb of the Moon and ran around screaming from some insects whom she thought were biting her.

(September 1, 2017 at 3:05 pm)Jehanne Wrote:

(September 1, 2017 at 1:41 pm)shadow Wrote: Why is teaching your kids to think for themselves a reason to lie to them? Isn't it just making it more difficult for them to form a rational world view?

My little girl whom I lied to is 6 years old.  I tried and tried (and tried!) to explain to her what would be going on during the August 21st solar eclipse, and she could not understand it.  At first she thought that the Sun was going to "eat" the Moon but then realized that the Sun was simply going "behind" the Moon, but that it was the Sun and not the Moon that was moving; it was the best that I could do.  She had no idea what the "red things" were on the limb of the Moon and ran around screaming from some insects whom she thought were biting her.

Concerning things like Santa Claus and fairies: I don't understand the point of confusing kids with stuff like that aside from it being kinda cute. They're not going to think for themselves better that way aside from maybe becoming (perhaps rightly) more paranoid that everyone, including their parents, is lying to them.

The way I was raised, my parents would give me true, scientific explanations for everything even when I was too young to understand everything they were saying. As a result, as I grew up and learned more, I'd encounter the ideas they had explained to me (often at a higher grade level in school) and understand them clearly, quickly and rationally.  I appreciate that more than I can express.

Your parents sound fantastic.

I agree with you 100%, Shadow. I wish my parents had never lied to me about stuff like that and yes it did cause me anxiety and has impacted my life greatly.