For all the grammarians on AF...

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"To"
"To who?"

(January 30, 2018 at 3:46 pm)Fireball Wrote: Somebody ought to start a creepy joke thread and transfer this one ^^^ over there.

Not "creepy"! tomorrow night will be a super moon as well as a blue moon. So it's intellectual, funny and stupid all at the same time! Your Welcome!

Pity the weather here in Melbourne is going to fuck things up....damn...

(January 30, 2018 at 3:56 pm)Haipule Wrote: Not "creepy"! tomorrow night will be a super moon as well as a blue moon. So it's intellectual, funny and stupid all at the same time!

One out of three ain't bad.

(January 30, 2018 at 5:53 pm)ignoramus Wrote: Pity the weather here in Melbourne is going to fuck things up....damn...

Should be good here. The last time I saw a bright blue moon. The moon rose over Diamondhead and shown down on the waters of Waikiki during a swell. It was stunning.

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
-Emo Philips

“If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side.” 
–Stuart Turner“

“I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella.”
 – Gary Delaney

“My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid: ‘What I'm going to do with two dead dogs?’”
– Gary Delaney

"Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?“
– Bill Murray

“Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go ‘you know, I’m not as hungry as thought I was’?” 
– Tim VineI

"Grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance–waiting for the bathroom."
-Bob Hope

What is a common phrase used to describe these:

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride?

The Bill of Rights!

(January 28, 2018 at 11:56 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: A blonde walks into a library and approaches the librarian at the counter...

blonde: Excuse me, can I get a large order of fries and a coke?

librarian: Ma'am, this is a library.

blonde: Oh, sorry. (whispers) Can I get a large order of fries and a coke?

Made these up:

this blonde cut her finger on a razor blade trying to make split pea soup.

This blonde missed the 6 o'clock news because nobody would tell her what time it comes on.
This blonde was really smart. So she'd never lose her remote control, she kept it on top of the television set.

A man comes home from fishing with an old boot dangling off the end of his fishing rod.
Man: You should have seen the one that got away. It was a Gucci.

Patient goes in for surgery, real nervous. He says to his surgeon "Doc, I'm really nervous about this. It's my first surgery."

Doc smiles at the patient, reassuring him. "Don't worry, it's my first surgery too."