At a boat pond.

"Come in, number 9, your time is up!"

"Boss, we only have 8 boats."

"Boat number 6, are you in trouble?"

You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands. For example, if they're around your throat, she's probably slightly upset with you.

Boru

God tells these 3 guys that the vehicle they'll be driving around in heaven will be a reflection of how faithful they were to their wives.

The first guy was cheating on his wife like every month, so God gave him a Chevy to drive around in heaven.

The second guy cheated on his wife once or twice over the years, but overall was pretty faithful, so God gave him an Acura to drive around in heaven.

The third guy never cheated on his wife at all and was the most faithful he could have possibly been, so God gave him a Rolls-Royce to drive around in heaven.

Sometime later, the first and second guy found the third guy sitting down crying. When they asked him what was wrong, he said "I just saw my wife riding down the road on a skateboard."

(April 24, 2021 at 4:42 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:

(April 24, 2021 at 3:49 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Pornography poses a great societal danger. It gives young people an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how long it takes a plumber to get to your house.

Boru

And an over abundance of guys who want to become pizza delivery boys...

...who want to deliver 95% of a pizza...

---

(April 24, 2021 at 2:57 pm)purplepurpose Wrote: God is perfect and just.

Yup. Perfectly abhorrent and just imaginary.

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions.

One said, " think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it ?"

"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind.

Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear: "These feel just like your sister's."

Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.

I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.

If Cinderella had been a cooking slave instead of a cleaning slave, would she have been named Mozarella?

My friend Sid had his ID stolen.

Sorry to hear that, S.

(April 26, 2021 at 3:12 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.

Pics or it didn't happen....

(April 26, 2021 at 12:45 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:

(April 26, 2021 at 3:12 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.

Pics or it didn't happen....