Depends on how important anal is to you, John.

Most of this is riding on the fact that you don't find sex to be as important as I apparently do - and as many other people I knew apparently did.

To flip the coin, I've known people who left because money or certain hobbies weren't as important either. We can argue priorities, but I doubt we'll ever agree on anything.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:01 pm)ChadWooters Wrote: What I'm saying is, they can't even see Heaven. They've convinced themselves that there's nothing to see, they stop looking for spiritual things and restrict their outlook to natural world. Little by little the voice of God inside them dies, because their intellectual beliefs are at odds with their conscience. Finally, when the conscience dies, so does all that talk about being nice to each other and trying to get along.

So, I assume you're going to back this up with evidence that as non-believers get older they stop being nice to each other while that doesn't happen to believers...right?

Here's what I think Chad. I think you've pulled this out of your ass, and in order to justify your belief that the bible is source the of all goodness and non believers go to hell, you have simply made assumptions about people that the evidence does not bear out.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm)John V Wrote: Sorry, but I think "Hey, you're a wonderful person and I love you, but I'm leaving you because you won't take it up the ass" would indicate a very selfish, imbalanced person.

LOL...but you are absolutely right. And that list goes well beyond just sex.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm)John V Wrote: I would like to think that if my wife somehow became physically incapable of having sex that I'd still be faithful and happy.

I've thought about this one, too. And for truly committed husbands and wives, it changes there whole view about sex. After his wife developed breast cancer, one man I know said, "Now I'm just happy to be able to hold her hand." And it makes me teary eyed just to write that.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:51 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: Depends on how important anal is to you, John.

Exactly. If it's so important that, despite an otherwise good sex life, I would leave over it, then it's too important to me. I'm out of balance.

Quote:Most of this is riding on the fact that you don't find sex to be as important as I apparently do - and as many other people I knew apparently did.

No, it's riding on the fact that I don't find any particular sexual practices so important as to override the rest of the relationship. You've said that the regular sex is fantastic. Same here. To me, that's enough. There are certain things I'd like that she's not into. So what? Seems pretty selfish and immature to leave over them.

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(April 4, 2013 at 2:55 pm)ChadWooters Wrote:

(April 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm)John V Wrote: Sorry, but I think "Hey, you're a wonderful person and I love you, but I'm leaving you because you won't take it up the ass" would indicate a very selfish, imbalanced person.

LOL...but you are absolutely right. And that list goes well beyond just sex.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm)John V Wrote: I would like to think that if my wife somehow became physically incapable of having sex that I'd still be faithful and happy.

I've thought about this one, too. And for truly committed husbands and wives, it changes there whole view about sex. After his wife developed breast cancer, one man I know said, "Now I'm just happy to be able to hold her hand." And it makes me teary eyed just to write that.

Brought a tear to my eye to read it. Beautiful.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:52 pm)Faith No More Wrote: ...So, I assume you're going to back this up with evidence that as non-believers get older they stop being nice each other while that doesn't happen to believers...right?

No. People can change habits at anytime int their life. You can move toward the light even before you've fully accepted it.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:52 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I think you've pulled this out of your ass, and in order to justify your belief that the bible is source the of all goodness and non believers go to hell...

Not at all. I'm New Church. Swedenborg described all these things in vivid detail, particularly in "Heaven and Hell". The Bible supports his visionary experiences.

Because again, you find it not to be as important as other things, or you wouldn't call it selfish and immature. Your wife sounds like she's as good to you as David is to me. I believe I qualified my original statement with "if he wasn't as awesome as he was in so many other ways" implying that the type of sex I wanted wouldn't be the ONLY factor though it might be the overriding one.

(April 4, 2013 at 2:55 pm)ChadWooters Wrote:

(April 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm)John V Wrote: Sorry, but I think "Hey, you're a wonderful person and I love you, but I'm leaving you because you won't take it up the ass" would indicate a very selfish, imbalanced person.

LOL...but you are absolutely right. And that list goes well beyond just sex.

Try to extend that one just a little.

"Hey, you're a wonderful person and I love you, but I'm leaving you because you won't take it up the ass. You see, this particular part of my sexuality is so important to me that I often find myself quietly loathing you, or miserable in self imposed isolation. I didn't have the balls to tell you this for a long time and this caused alot of unecessarry tension and stress for both of us - and for that I am so sorry. I tried to ignore it, but the more I ignored it the more miserable I became, and I've realized that I simply cant give you the sort of relationship you deserve due to this little tic of mine. It's not you, it's me."

I know, I know, taking it up the ass is icky so you thought this would be an easy one. Oh well. The person may be unbalanced, they may be selfish, but recognizing this and cutting it off is a very "unselfish" thing to do. Takes some chutzpah to flatly realize and admit that you just can't deliver what your partner requires (especially if you love them dearly and they're great people). Think I mentioned something about that........couple posts ago.

(April 4, 2013 at 3:02 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: Because again, you find it not to be as important as other things, or you wouldn't call it selfish and immature.

And again, that's incorrect. As noted, I would say the same about leaving over some particular desire in other areas, too. "Honey, in general I love you but you quit golfing when we had kids so I'm leaving you" would likewise be selfish and immature.

(April 4, 2013 at 3:25 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Try to extend that one just a little.

Easy. He wants to live in the city. She wants to live in the Suburbs.
(...and can you guys stop talking about sodomy?)








...it's making me horny. Joke.

(April 4, 2013 at 1:25 pm)John V Wrote: Sure it will. Such discussion will lead to a reasonable compromise if both people are acting in love.

Tell that to my asexual bf

Quote:Also note that sex drives are not constant through life, so even if people go into a marriage knowing that they are compatible in drive, there's no guarantee that will always be the case. It probably won't be the case.

True that. One can only hope..