I just can't be bothered to join. Hope that's OK with Lazy Jesus. Wouldn't want him to set me on fire or something.

(May 23, 2013 at 8:27 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I just can't be bothered to join. Hope that's OK with Lazy Jesus. Wouldn't want him to set me on fire or something.

Lazy Jesus would never set you on fire. It's his old man that you gotta watch out for.

New Church edict:


Lazy Jesus clearly doesn't give a shit about starving people and clearly approves of churches with lavish extras.

All monies coming into the church will be spent completely on the Church building and property. Big screen TVs, full bar and church vehicles will be a priority. It's important that we get a big boat. Lazy jesus LOVED the water.

Could we possibly get Lazy Jesus to turn water in to whiskey?

Or perhaps deli-sliced turkey into something good, like pastrami?

(May 23, 2013 at 9:15 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Could we possibly get Lazy Jesus to turn water in to whiskey?

Or perhaps deli-sliced turkey into something good, like pastrami?

Although I love the sentiment, Lazy Jesus isn't known for answering prayers. So asking him to do even the most simple of tasks is often futile.

We may have a shot at it though. Lazy Jesus does indeed tend to like to deal with trivial things rather than the big requests, so who knows ... he just might be willing to make us some good pastrami between holding off the rain clouds and finding my dad's car keys.

(May 23, 2013 at 8:41 pm)Cinjin Wrote: Lazy Jesus would never set you on fire. It's his old man that you gotta watch out for.

Aren't they one and the same? Sort of a lazy trinity, if you will?

(May 24, 2013 at 8:54 pm)Faith No More Wrote: Aren't they one and the same? Sort of a lazy trinity, if you will?

They were so lazy that they gave up and stopped at "two-and-a-half men."

(May 24, 2013 at 7:12 pm)Cinjin Wrote:

(May 23, 2013 at 9:15 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Could we possibly get Lazy Jesus to turn water in to whiskey?

Or perhaps deli-sliced turkey into something good, like pastrami?

Although I love the sentiment, Lazy Jesus isn't known for answering prayers. So asking him to do even the most simple of tasks is often futile.

Perhaps it's not a matter of answering prayers and is something that happens every fourth Sunday. We can all show up and listen to him talk knowing that we're all really there for the post-talk pot luck dinner.