(June 3, 2014 at 9:53 pm)Heywood Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 9:23 pm)Dragonetti Wrote: Some relationships are not worth keeping.

If the son is not interested in keeping a relationship going with the father, what was the point of this thread? Why didn't the OP title the thread, "I disavowed my douche bag father and here is why".

Its obvious that the son wants to maintain a relationship with his father. However the son is wrong in thinking its all the fathers fault. The father was perfectly willing to talk to the son up until the son called the father a coward and ridiculed his beliefs. Now the son is shocked the father won't engage with him? The son needs to realize that the terms of the relationship are decided by both of them. His father simply isn't going to tolerate the abuse.

The son would have been better off just replying, "If you're going to lay a guilt trip on me, were not going to have a discussion. I love you dad, but I am not going to talk to you on these terms, call me when your able to move past this".

In bold: He called him a coward after his dad refused to engage him. Reading comprehension motherfucker, do you have it? also, it's you're*. Were you homeschooled by any chance?

(June 3, 2014 at 10:07 pm)Sejanus Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 9:53 pm)Heywood Wrote: If the son is not interested in keeping a relationship going with the father, what was the point of this thread? Why didn't the OP title the thread, "I disavowed my douche bag father and here is why".

Its obvious that the son wants to maintain a relationship with his father. However the son is wrong in thinking its all the fathers fault. The father was perfectly willing to talk to the son up until the son called the father a coward and ridiculed his beliefs. Now the son is shocked the father won't engage with him? The son needs to realize that the terms of the relationship are decided by both of them. His father simply isn't going to tolerate the abuse.

The son would have been better off just replying, "If you're going to lay a guilt trip on me, were not going to have a discussion. I love you dad, but I am not going to talk to you on these terms, call me when your able to move past this".

In bold: He called him a coward after his dad refused to engage him. Reading comprehension motherfucker, do you have it? also, it's you're*. Were you homeschooled by any chance?

I'm educated enough to know that responding to abuse with abuse isn't productive. The OP was hurt by the father and responded by trying to hurt the father. Nobody should be shocked this didn't turn out well.

Right now my advice to the OP is this. Send a message to your dad. Tell him you are sorry for ridiculing his beliefs and calling him a coward. But then tell him you think he is wrong to lay a guilt trip on him...and that if they are to have a relationship with each other...it needs to be based on mutual respect and not abuse.

Quote:Tell him you are sorry for ridiculing his beliefs

welp way to go and straight up prove my point for me.

(June 3, 2014 at 10:06 pm)Ryantology (╯°◊°)╯︵ ══╬ Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 9:53 pm)Heywood Wrote: Its obvious that the son wants to maintain a relationship with his father. However the son is wrong in thinking its all the fathers fault. The father was perfectly willing to talk to the son up until the son called the father a coward and ridiculed his beliefs. Now the son is shocked the father won't engage with him? The son needs to realize that the terms of the relationship are decided by both of them. His father simply isn't going to tolerate the abuse.

The father only appears to want to have a relationship with a son who lacks a will of his own, does what he is told, and doesn't voice any contrary opinions in public. OP mentioned several times that this is a longstanding pattern. Yeah, OP obviously does want to have a relationship with his father. He's never going to get it because the father doesn't want it unless it's entirely on his terms. And of course you would think that is entirely acceptable.

Edit: Bolded the part where I called it.

Ryantology, you may have not been able to successfully reproduce, but I have. I can tell you from experience as a father, that we take a certain amount of pride when our sons stand up to us.

It means they are becoming men.

(June 3, 2014 at 10:23 pm)Heywood Wrote: Ryantology, you may have not been able to successfully reproduce, but I have. I can tell you from experience as a father, that we take a certain amount of pride when our sons stand up to us.

It means they are becoming men.

Yeah?

I can tell you from experience as a son who has a father who acts just like OP's. He sure as hell never likes it when I stand up to him. Our politics and religion are totally different and he takes personal offense to it.

(June 3, 2014 at 10:29 pm)Ryantology (╯°◊°)╯︵ ══╬ Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 10:23 pm)Heywood Wrote: Ryantology, you may have not been able to successfully reproduce, but I have. I can tell you from experience as a father, that we take a certain amount of pride when our sons stand up to us.

It means they are becoming men.

Yeah?

I can tell you from experience as a son who has a father who acts just like OP's. He sure as hell never likes it when I stand up to him. Our politics and religion are totally different and he takes personal offense to it.

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if you, like the OP, respond to your father by trying hurt him back instead of simply demanding respect.

Why should anyone have to demand respect from someone else? The kinds of disrespect the OP is taking allowances for from the son initially---is enough to harbor disrespect. I lost respect for the father over the son the second he opened his mouth with his (supposedly) own agenda.

Do you.. have actual pissing contests with your sons, Heywood? Just wondering..

(June 3, 2014 at 10:40 pm)Luckie Wrote: Why should anyone have to demand respect from someone else? The kinds of disrespect the OP is taking allowances for from the son initially---is enough to harbor disrespect. I lost respect for the father over the son the second he opened his mouth with his (supposedly) own agenda.

In the fantasy world you live in and think is reality....nobody should have to demand respect.

The real world is quite different then your fantasy world. In the real world, some sons need to demand the respect from their fathers otherwise they simply will not get it.

All of you, telling the OP that he should just write off his douche bag father.....you're not helping.

(June 3, 2014 at 10:29 pm)Ryantology (╯°◊°)╯︵ ══╬ Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 10:23 pm)Heywood Wrote: Ryantology, you may have not been able to successfully reproduce, but I have. I can tell you from experience as a father, that we take a certain amount of pride when our sons stand up to us.

It means they are becoming men.

Yeah?

I can tell you from experience as a son who has a father who acts just like OP's. He sure as hell never likes it when I stand up to him. Our politics and religion are totally different and he takes personal offense to it.

My lady's mom is a YEC, and not on her Facebook friends list for the same reason. As if slut-shaming her her entire life wasn't enough, she criticizes everything she does, and tells her she needs Jesus. I thought she was going to have a stroke the last time my girl got a new tattoo. To top it off, she is generically Christian, just not the right kind.

(June 3, 2014 at 10:17 pm)Heywood Wrote:

(June 3, 2014 at 10:07 pm)Sejanus Wrote: In bold: He called him a coward after his dad refused to engage him. Reading comprehension motherfucker, do you have it? also, it's you're*. Were you homeschooled by any chance?

I'm educated enough to know that responding to abuse with abuse isn't productive. The OP was hurt by the father and responded by trying to hurt the father. Nobody should be shocked this didn't turn out well.

Right now my advice to the OP is this. Send a message to your dad. Tell him you are sorry for ridiculing his beliefs and calling him a coward. But then tell him you think he is wrong to lay a guilt trip on him...and that if they are to have a relationship with each other...it needs to be based on mutual respect and not abuse.

So you were homeschooled then. Figures, you being a theist and all. Back on topic, the OP is justified in ridiculing his dad's beliefs, because
1. His dad is only willing to have a relationship with the OP if the OP becomes a Mormon again. It's blackmail.
2. His dad already indoctrinated him into something he now abhors at birth. You know, without his consent. And is now seeking to again.

Since you blatantly glossed over my point in my earlier post, I reiterate; he only called him a coward after his dad refused to address his argument.