(June 4, 2014 at 2:40 pm)hppavilion Wrote: That's like... reverse relativity. You're moving forwards, so from his point of view it looks like you're staying in one place as he moves in what he perceives to be forwards (and is backwards)

Flabbergasted. hock:

(June 4, 2014 at 2:08 pm)elconquistador Wrote: Gosh, normally I try reply to every respond on my threads but this one completely blew up.

I would just like to thank every one for the love and support. It's really given me a boost in the past 48 hours.

I just gotta say, if I knew all of you in real life, I would totally invite you to my bond fires. The support and advice given to me on this forum in the last couple months have been priceless.

I don't know what I would do without you guys.

Good luck elconquistador. I was married 20 years to an Indian woman. Nobody wanted us to be together and nobody came to our wedding. We just relied on ourselves and made our own space. All our kids are doing great .

(June 4, 2014 at 3:45 pm)vodkafan Wrote:

(June 4, 2014 at 2:08 pm)elconquistador Wrote: Gosh, normally I try reply to every respond on my threads but this one completely blew up.

I would just like to thank every one for the love and support. It's really given me a boost in the past 48 hours.

I just gotta say, if I knew all of you in real life, I would totally invite you to my bond fires. The support and advice given to me on this forum in the last couple months have been priceless.

I don't know what I would do without you guys.

Good luck elconquistador. I was married 20 years to an Indian woman. Nobody wanted us to be together and nobody came to our wedding. We just relied on ourselves and made our own space. All our kids are doing great .

Wow, that makes me hurt inside. The mormon faith also has racial/economical "guidelines" for marriage. According to the mormon faith, I wasn't supposed to marry a mexican woman from a poor family because I am white and from a borderline upper middle class family.

Love is love is love is love. You're story gives me hope. Thank you.

Well, good luck, El Con. I'm terrible at giving advice about dealing with fathers since mine didn't care about having any sort of relationship whatsoever until my late teens, when he realized he had severely fucked me up.

Becoming a father myself has really opened my eyes, though. I now understand that parents come with their own truck-load of psychological baggage that we, as kids, can't see. There is no preparation for becoming a parent, as it's basically a trial by fire. Not to say that excuses everything parents do, but we have to understand that parents have nothing more to go on than what they think is right. As long as they show concern for our well-being, we have to be willing to forgive them for their failures, even the really big ones.

RE: the OP

I liked SteelCurtain's advice quite a bit but I have two follow up clarifications:

1) Do you think your dad wants to maintain a relationship with you? Or is your desire to maintain the relationship one-sided?

2) Where does your mom fit into all this? Can you bring her in as an ally or an intermediary between yourself and your father? Or is she 100% on his side and losing a relationship with him means losing them both?

(June 4, 2014 at 4:26 pm)elconquistador Wrote: Wow, that makes me hurt inside. The mormon faith also has racial/economical "guidelines" for marriage. According to the mormon faith, I wasn't supposed to marry a mexican woman from a poor family because I am white and from a borderline upper middle class family.

What?!? What's wrong with marrying a Mexican? Are they not "white and delightsome" enough for the Mo's?

My parents also tried to impress upon me from an early age that racial mingling was not desirable. Way to set one up for success in life, right?

I know how you feel. Well not technically since your folks are Mormons and mine are Catholics nevertheless when I came out with my parents about being an atheist they didn't took it pretty well. And to be honest they didn't took it at all. They still think that the whole me being an atheist it's just a lie. They think that deep down I really believe in Christ. Until this very day whenever I go out with them and we pass in front of a church they still ask me to do the sign of the cross.

(June 4, 2014 at 6:07 pm)Zidneya Wrote: I know how you feel. Well not technically since your folks are Mormons and mine are Catholics nevertheless when I came out with my parents about being an atheist they didn't took it pretty well. And to be honest they didn't took it at all. They still think that the whole me being an atheist it's just a lie. They think that deep down I really believe in Christ. Until this very day whenever I go out with them and we pass in front of a church they still ask me to do the sign of the cross.

You'd be surprised at the many similarities between Mormons and Catholics. I think you can empathize more than you realize.

(June 4, 2014 at 12:55 pm)alpha male Wrote: @OP: You come off as an asshole, and your Dad comes off as reasonable.

Wow, all the theists who have chimed in on this conversation support the abusive theist father.

The sheer ferocity of the surprise I feel from this knowledge is hovering around zero.

(June 4, 2014 at 5:22 pm)Bad Writer Wrote: My parents also tried to impress upon me from an early age that racial mingling was not desirable. Way to set one up for success in life, right?

Even if they were Mormon, too? My coworker's ex is a former Mormon (now atheist) and is also a Mexican-American. If he were still a Mormon, would it be allowable for him to marry a white Mormon ? Or is all racial cross breeding frowned upon?

Mormons are so nutty.