Warning!!! Very very very very long post ahead.
The reason is: I have personally experienced the hypocrisy and brainwashing of extreme feminist dogma myself. So I’ll tell you the story that hammered the last nail in the coffin for me, are you sitting comfortably? Good, now we can begin.
When I was in sixth form every Wednesday I would have a free period with a girl, I’ll call her Jane Doe. Subsequently we became good friends over that school year, we didn’t share any of the same academic subjects, but we both shared a ‘fanaticism’ with doctor who and we also liked many of the same TV shows. We became such good friends that she even shared with me that she had attempted to kill herself before and that she regularly sees a therapist. I had deduced much of this myself, as she would sometimes go missing for days at a time from school. Out of desperation her friends would often ask me whether I had seen or talked to her because she would return neither text message or phone calls. Then one day she would be back and act like nothing happened. I never asked her about it, I assumed it was to do with her depression or some other kind of mental issue that she was working through. I honestly didn’t think it was harmful, I thought it was quirky and a little weird but totally harmless.
Suffice to say, for want of a better phrase she was ‘mentally unstable’ and had serious issues with her father and all men, so much so that she changed her surname so it would not be the same as his. I should have paid attention to the warning signs.
Anyway, after sixth form was done with, we had a very very long summer holiday. For some reason, neither of us got jobs and so didn’t have much money to go out. As a result, once or twice a week I would drive over to her house, pick her up and bring her back to mine. During the day we would watch TV shows that we both liked or play video games, and if Jane stayed over, during the night we would often play movie drinking games, sometimes alone, sometimes with one of her equally ‘damaged’ friends.
It was then that I noticed how deeply indoctrinated she was. Anything on the tv that could be interpreted as sexist, was sexist. It didn’t matter what the intention was, whether it was a joke or a debate or a throw away comment. If something could be interpreted as sexist, Jane would see it as sexist. It slightly disturbed me, the rigor of her objections when I myself objected to her accusations of sexism, not to mention the illogical thinking that brought her to her conclusions. I even voiced my problems with feminism and the way it operates. Luckily, the discussions would not last long as we would quickly agree to disagree. But what really unsettled me one night, when we were both slightly drunk, she said something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe we are friends, with you being so anti-feminist, we’re enemies’ I should have realised then, the mindset that Jane was in. But I didn’t.
One night I threw a house party and then a second just a few days later, it was a farewell for my friendship group at sixth form. Jane wasn’t part of this group but I invited her anyway, just like the past 6 or so house parties I had hosted. As you can imagine there was a lot of drinking involved. Not so much for me, because I still lived in my parents house and so was responsible for its protection and looking after everyone else. I was a good host I think, I never stayed with one group of people too long, I made sure that everyone was OK and happy and had enough drink and had some nibbles.
At the end of the first house party, in the morning, Jane’s friend, Jane and I were sitting in the living room, Jane was showing me bruises that she had from the previous night. This wasn’t surprising, as she got quite clumsy when she drank, she would often bump into things. What did surprise me was that she accused me of causing some of the bruises, saying I had knocked her over for no reason. I didn’t recall such an incident, and remember I don’t drink much at my parties so I doubt I would have forgotten an incident like this. I told her so but she insisted I had done it, so I apologised never the less and told her it must have been an accident. She accepted this and everything was fine.
The second party culminated (as it often did) with a few friends staying the night and Jane and I sleeping in my bed along with her friend. Literally sleeping mind you. Though to be honest, not much sleeping actually happened. Both girls were quite drunk and unfortunately for me were quite hyperactive after consuming what I only can assume was some red bull mixed drink. I on the other had, was exhausted and so attempted to sleep, something that Jane and her friend took issue with.
They kept waking me in various ways, at one point Jane even grabbed the chain I wear around my next and throttled me for a few seconds. As a retaliating to this I rolled over and grabbed her neck in a mock chock hold and said jokingly ‘If you keep this up, I’m going to pinch you somewhere where it really hurts’ I knew she had understood this as a joke because she giggled. We went to bed at about 4 o’clock in the morning but I didn’t get to sleep until about 7. At about half nine, they half woke me up to say that Jane’s mum was here to pick them up and that they were going home. I went straight back to sleep. After I woke up much later I checked my phone and saw that Jane had taken a few photos of herself wearing my hoodie, making peace signs and smiling. There was nothing unusual in that, she liked taking photos of herself.
Two days later I received a very gut renching text from her, I can’t remember the exact words but it went something like this: ‘I don’t like your attitude towards me recently or your actions. I have your hoodie so I realise that we will have to see each other again but I don’t want to be around you anymore.’ I was so shocked and at such a loss as to what was happening that I didn’t reply for a day, I had no clue what to say.
The next day her mother turns up at my front door to return my hoodie, she was very angry and shouted at me, accusing me of the bruising that Jane had, saying Jane was scared of me and that they were going to the police. Sure enough they did, and I went into the police station to be interviewed. The police officer that interviewed me was a woman and was very understanding.
I wasn’t arrested or anything just summoned. It turned out Jane had accused me of assaulting her multiple times on multiple occasions. She made it out that I was some abuser. Naturally I was flabbergasted. One of the accusations of assault was even the time I had mock chocked her after she had actually chocked me! I couldn’t believe it, how the hell did she rationalise actually choking me was OK but me pretending to choke her wasn’t. Remember, she knew it was a joke, she laughed. The rest of the accusations were equally stupid physical events. One time we were discussing self defence techniques and I twisted her arm to show her, a few seconds later she almost broke my thumb with a move she had learned at her women’s self defence class.
I’m not sure if ‘petty’ is the right word for these accusations but they were the equivalent of me accusing Jane of torturing me. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, Jane and her friend kept waking me up thus depriving me of sleep, therefore she was torturing me. That is the level of delirium that I was dealing with there. For each of these accusations of physical abuse I could name at least 3 that she had ‘inflicted’ upon me, bearing in mind this was being judged from her standard of what constituted assault. But I wouldn’t accuse her of abusing me because I understood that she was just messing around and that if she had hurt me, it was an accident and she didn’t mean it.
She had always been a physical kind of girl. She wasn’t afraid to get into my personal space. I was always very careful about physical contact, always letting her initiate it as I knew some girls could do exactly what she ended up doing to me, but I let my guard down because she was my friend, surely her radical feminist dogma would be forgotten when it applied to someone she actually knew and liked?
I was equally confused because we had left each other on good terms, she left my house the morning after the party with my hoodie and had taken those photos on my phone. Something must have happened within the space of two days that caused her to convince herself that I had assaulted her. Jane said she had first felt uncomfortable during the first party I had thrown, and yet she didn’t voice these concerns to me and even came along to the second one, even sleeping next to me. Confusing behaviour from someone who was apparently scared of me.
And then I realised, Jane’s blindness to the double standards she was applying was caused by her extreme feminist views. Why else would she accuse me of assaulting her unless she genuinely thought I had? We were great friends, we never argued about anything, we never fought about anything apart from feminism. You can imagine how hurt and wounded I was. This girl, who I had been good friends with for over a year, who I had had so many good nights drinking together and having fun with, who I shared so much in common with, genuinely believed that I had abused her. It severely affected me for months and it still does today. But then I realised, it wasn’t her fault. She had been indoctrinated by radical feminist dogma and was predisposed to mistrust men (caused by her bad relationship with her father). She had probably been on Tumblr or some other internet feminist play area where the radicals had convinced her that I had abused and assaulted her.
Back to the police interview. As I said, the officer was very understanding. Jane’s behaviour prior to the accusations was confusing and inconsistent with her claims of being afraid of me. The officer told me it would never go to court because of this. And I think the officer knew what was going on, she told me and this is word for word: ‘You have to be careful around girls’ She recognised the cultural bias we have when you think of domestic abuse and intersex violence. When you have cases like this, we are always predisposed to believe the woman, that the man beat the woman. And I think Jane may have been relying on this bias as well and the police officer knew it.
In the end, all I had to do was write her a letter of apology, in which I did indeed apologise though I confessed that I didn’t think I had done anything wrong and that I was confused and hurt by her actions. We blocked communication with each other completely after that.
And just to rub salt into the wound I found out a few months later that Jane had blogged about the incident. Using my name and all the details, saying I had assaulted her. Now all my friends knew about it. I had not told them because it was none of their business and I didn’t want to drag them into it. I had a few phone calls and texts from my friends asking me about it and I told them my side of the story and they seemed happy. I later sent a group message to all of my friends explaining everything. They reacted well, many of them blocking Jane on social media sites and a few choice swear words were directed her way (much to my displeasure and protests). What really hurt about that, was that it didn’t matter that I didn’t assault her. It had smeared my reputation, it was almost as bad as if she had accused me of raping her, and she knew it.
Just so you know, this event isn’t the reason I started disliking feminism. I didn’t like it long before I knew Jane but this was the last nail in the coffin for me. If you have read all of this I congratulate you for your persistence and your interest and will give you a kudos at some point. I fully expect a long list of various ‘didn’t read lol’ gifs but if you have any questions I will be only too happy to answer. Longest rant ever: done! PEACE! I’m out.
The reason is: I have personally experienced the hypocrisy and brainwashing of extreme feminist dogma myself. So I’ll tell you the story that hammered the last nail in the coffin for me, are you sitting comfortably? Good, now we can begin.
When I was in sixth form every Wednesday I would have a free period with a girl, I’ll call her Jane Doe. Subsequently we became good friends over that school year, we didn’t share any of the same academic subjects, but we both shared a ‘fanaticism’ with doctor who and we also liked many of the same TV shows. We became such good friends that she even shared with me that she had attempted to kill herself before and that she regularly sees a therapist. I had deduced much of this myself, as she would sometimes go missing for days at a time from school. Out of desperation her friends would often ask me whether I had seen or talked to her because she would return neither text message or phone calls. Then one day she would be back and act like nothing happened. I never asked her about it, I assumed it was to do with her depression or some other kind of mental issue that she was working through. I honestly didn’t think it was harmful, I thought it was quirky and a little weird but totally harmless.
Suffice to say, for want of a better phrase she was ‘mentally unstable’ and had serious issues with her father and all men, so much so that she changed her surname so it would not be the same as his. I should have paid attention to the warning signs.
Anyway, after sixth form was done with, we had a very very long summer holiday. For some reason, neither of us got jobs and so didn’t have much money to go out. As a result, once or twice a week I would drive over to her house, pick her up and bring her back to mine. During the day we would watch TV shows that we both liked or play video games, and if Jane stayed over, during the night we would often play movie drinking games, sometimes alone, sometimes with one of her equally ‘damaged’ friends.
It was then that I noticed how deeply indoctrinated she was. Anything on the tv that could be interpreted as sexist, was sexist. It didn’t matter what the intention was, whether it was a joke or a debate or a throw away comment. If something could be interpreted as sexist, Jane would see it as sexist. It slightly disturbed me, the rigor of her objections when I myself objected to her accusations of sexism, not to mention the illogical thinking that brought her to her conclusions. I even voiced my problems with feminism and the way it operates. Luckily, the discussions would not last long as we would quickly agree to disagree. But what really unsettled me one night, when we were both slightly drunk, she said something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe we are friends, with you being so anti-feminist, we’re enemies’ I should have realised then, the mindset that Jane was in. But I didn’t.
One night I threw a house party and then a second just a few days later, it was a farewell for my friendship group at sixth form. Jane wasn’t part of this group but I invited her anyway, just like the past 6 or so house parties I had hosted. As you can imagine there was a lot of drinking involved. Not so much for me, because I still lived in my parents house and so was responsible for its protection and looking after everyone else. I was a good host I think, I never stayed with one group of people too long, I made sure that everyone was OK and happy and had enough drink and had some nibbles.
At the end of the first house party, in the morning, Jane’s friend, Jane and I were sitting in the living room, Jane was showing me bruises that she had from the previous night. This wasn’t surprising, as she got quite clumsy when she drank, she would often bump into things. What did surprise me was that she accused me of causing some of the bruises, saying I had knocked her over for no reason. I didn’t recall such an incident, and remember I don’t drink much at my parties so I doubt I would have forgotten an incident like this. I told her so but she insisted I had done it, so I apologised never the less and told her it must have been an accident. She accepted this and everything was fine.
The second party culminated (as it often did) with a few friends staying the night and Jane and I sleeping in my bed along with her friend. Literally sleeping mind you. Though to be honest, not much sleeping actually happened. Both girls were quite drunk and unfortunately for me were quite hyperactive after consuming what I only can assume was some red bull mixed drink. I on the other had, was exhausted and so attempted to sleep, something that Jane and her friend took issue with.
They kept waking me in various ways, at one point Jane even grabbed the chain I wear around my next and throttled me for a few seconds. As a retaliating to this I rolled over and grabbed her neck in a mock chock hold and said jokingly ‘If you keep this up, I’m going to pinch you somewhere where it really hurts’ I knew she had understood this as a joke because she giggled. We went to bed at about 4 o’clock in the morning but I didn’t get to sleep until about 7. At about half nine, they half woke me up to say that Jane’s mum was here to pick them up and that they were going home. I went straight back to sleep. After I woke up much later I checked my phone and saw that Jane had taken a few photos of herself wearing my hoodie, making peace signs and smiling. There was nothing unusual in that, she liked taking photos of herself.
Two days later I received a very gut renching text from her, I can’t remember the exact words but it went something like this: ‘I don’t like your attitude towards me recently or your actions. I have your hoodie so I realise that we will have to see each other again but I don’t want to be around you anymore.’ I was so shocked and at such a loss as to what was happening that I didn’t reply for a day, I had no clue what to say.
The next day her mother turns up at my front door to return my hoodie, she was very angry and shouted at me, accusing me of the bruising that Jane had, saying Jane was scared of me and that they were going to the police. Sure enough they did, and I went into the police station to be interviewed. The police officer that interviewed me was a woman and was very understanding.
I wasn’t arrested or anything just summoned. It turned out Jane had accused me of assaulting her multiple times on multiple occasions. She made it out that I was some abuser. Naturally I was flabbergasted. One of the accusations of assault was even the time I had mock chocked her after she had actually chocked me! I couldn’t believe it, how the hell did she rationalise actually choking me was OK but me pretending to choke her wasn’t. Remember, she knew it was a joke, she laughed. The rest of the accusations were equally stupid physical events. One time we were discussing self defence techniques and I twisted her arm to show her, a few seconds later she almost broke my thumb with a move she had learned at her women’s self defence class.
I’m not sure if ‘petty’ is the right word for these accusations but they were the equivalent of me accusing Jane of torturing me. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, Jane and her friend kept waking me up thus depriving me of sleep, therefore she was torturing me. That is the level of delirium that I was dealing with there. For each of these accusations of physical abuse I could name at least 3 that she had ‘inflicted’ upon me, bearing in mind this was being judged from her standard of what constituted assault. But I wouldn’t accuse her of abusing me because I understood that she was just messing around and that if she had hurt me, it was an accident and she didn’t mean it.
She had always been a physical kind of girl. She wasn’t afraid to get into my personal space. I was always very careful about physical contact, always letting her initiate it as I knew some girls could do exactly what she ended up doing to me, but I let my guard down because she was my friend, surely her radical feminist dogma would be forgotten when it applied to someone she actually knew and liked?
I was equally confused because we had left each other on good terms, she left my house the morning after the party with my hoodie and had taken those photos on my phone. Something must have happened within the space of two days that caused her to convince herself that I had assaulted her. Jane said she had first felt uncomfortable during the first party I had thrown, and yet she didn’t voice these concerns to me and even came along to the second one, even sleeping next to me. Confusing behaviour from someone who was apparently scared of me.
And then I realised, Jane’s blindness to the double standards she was applying was caused by her extreme feminist views. Why else would she accuse me of assaulting her unless she genuinely thought I had? We were great friends, we never argued about anything, we never fought about anything apart from feminism. You can imagine how hurt and wounded I was. This girl, who I had been good friends with for over a year, who I had had so many good nights drinking together and having fun with, who I shared so much in common with, genuinely believed that I had abused her. It severely affected me for months and it still does today. But then I realised, it wasn’t her fault. She had been indoctrinated by radical feminist dogma and was predisposed to mistrust men (caused by her bad relationship with her father). She had probably been on Tumblr or some other internet feminist play area where the radicals had convinced her that I had abused and assaulted her.
Back to the police interview. As I said, the officer was very understanding. Jane’s behaviour prior to the accusations was confusing and inconsistent with her claims of being afraid of me. The officer told me it would never go to court because of this. And I think the officer knew what was going on, she told me and this is word for word: ‘You have to be careful around girls’ She recognised the cultural bias we have when you think of domestic abuse and intersex violence. When you have cases like this, we are always predisposed to believe the woman, that the man beat the woman. And I think Jane may have been relying on this bias as well and the police officer knew it.
In the end, all I had to do was write her a letter of apology, in which I did indeed apologise though I confessed that I didn’t think I had done anything wrong and that I was confused and hurt by her actions. We blocked communication with each other completely after that.
And just to rub salt into the wound I found out a few months later that Jane had blogged about the incident. Using my name and all the details, saying I had assaulted her. Now all my friends knew about it. I had not told them because it was none of their business and I didn’t want to drag them into it. I had a few phone calls and texts from my friends asking me about it and I told them my side of the story and they seemed happy. I later sent a group message to all of my friends explaining everything. They reacted well, many of them blocking Jane on social media sites and a few choice swear words were directed her way (much to my displeasure and protests). What really hurt about that, was that it didn’t matter that I didn’t assault her. It had smeared my reputation, it was almost as bad as if she had accused me of raping her, and she knew it.
Just so you know, this event isn’t the reason I started disliking feminism. I didn’t like it long before I knew Jane but this was the last nail in the coffin for me. If you have read all of this I congratulate you for your persistence and your interest and will give you a kudos at some point. I fully expect a long list of various ‘didn’t read lol’ gifs but if you have any questions I will be only too happy to answer. Longest rant ever: done! PEACE! I’m out.
'The more I learn about people the more I like my dog'- Mark Twain
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.' - Dr House
“Young earth creationism is essentially the position that all of modern science, 90% of living scientists and 98% of living biologists, all major university biology departments, every major science journal, the American Academy of Sciences, and every major science organization in the world, are all wrong regarding the origins and development of life….but one particular tribe of uneducated, bronze aged, goat herders got it exactly right.” - Chuck Easttom
"If my good friend Doctor Gasparri speaks badly of my mother, he can expect to get punched.....You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others. There is a limit." - Pope Francis on freedom of speech
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