(December 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm)Jenny A Wrote: People who have never heard the word of god will go to heaven, but people who have heard and misinterpreted the word of god will not. I'm here to bring you the word of god. --- Catholic

Now that's just stupid. My response to her would have been to interrupt her and say "Fucking stop telling people! You're making them go to hell!"

You know your religious doctrine is stupid if simply learning about it puts you in mortal peril, and that you're better off having never known. Christ, it sounds like Cthulhu.

Credo quia absurdum

Ok, it wasn't said to me personally, but it's got to be at the top of the list.

(December 23, 2014 at 10:16 am)Spooky Wrote: A Mormon friend told me "black people are descended from a cursed race". Wtf.

Plenty of Protestants believe that one too.

(December 23, 2014 at 4:37 pm)RobbyPants Wrote:

(December 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm)Jenny A Wrote: People who have never heard the word of god will go to heaven, but people who have heard and misinterpreted the word of god will not. I'm here to bring you the word of god. --- Catholic

Now that's just stupid. My response to her would have been to interrupt her and say "Fucking stop telling people! You're making them go to hell!"

You know your religious doctrine is stupid if simply learning about it puts you in mortal peril, and that you're better off having never known. Christ, it sounds like Cthulhu.

Why, yes. Yes, it does.

(December 23, 2014 at 5:34 pm)JonDarbyXIII Wrote: Credo quia absurdum

Ok, it wasn't said to me personally, but it's got to be at the top of the list.

Yes, Tertullian. Wasn't he the same guy who essentially said that one of the perks of Heaven would be the opportunity for the saved to witness and gloat over the torments of the damned?

The funny thing is, I have known many Christians who could barely conceal their glee at the prospect of the people who thought they were full of shit suffering eternally. They hate to admit it, but Schadenfreude lies at the heart of much of what passes for 'concern' and 'love' when they preach hellfire to non-believers.

(December 23, 2014 at 4:37 pm)RobbyPants Wrote:

(December 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm)Jenny A Wrote: People who have never heard the word of god will go to heaven, but people who have heard and misinterpreted the word of god will not. I'm here to bring you the word of god. --- Catholic

Now that's just stupid. My response to her would have been to interrupt her and say "Fucking stop telling people! You're making them go to hell!"

You know your religious doctrine is stupid if simply learning about it puts you in mortal peril, and that you're better off having never known. Christ, it sounds like Cthulhu.

Yep.

---

I heard more than my fair share of racist Christianity through working for the Federal Courts in Idaho. Many odd groups filing pro se were very racist believers. I read many documents beginning: I am a white citizen of the state of Idaho and a legal resident alien of the United States. Their "reasoning" was that initially, no one was a citizen of the United States, but only a citizen of one of the United States. None of the United States accepted blacks as citizens. The Emancipation Proclamation made blacks citizens of the United States but could not provide them with state citizenship. Therefore only blacks are federal citizens and only blacks are required to pay federal income taxes. White Christians like themselves are exempt from income taxes. Even accepting the white versus black nonsense, I never could figure out what "Christian" had to do with it.

I also got filers who pointedly refused to use zip codes or social security numbers as those are the mark of the beast and using them does some horrible magic things to you.

You can imagine just how much actual good any of this did these people. :rofl:

OOOkay - this one is from back in high school in the deep south, first day in Spanish class, a new requirement:

"If God wanted us to learn foreign languages, he wouldn't have written the Bible in English!"

(Also, when a new student moved in from England, someone actually asked what language they spoke there).

A different time, when I was detained, I met a fairly intelligent hacker type. Not a lot of options for talk, so we talked. He was absolutely convinced every word of the Bible was true and had some very odd ideas about what the antediluvian Earth was like, which I learned when I chose that point to pick at. Apparently, in ancient times, there was a layer of water up in the atmosphere, enough to cover all the land masses completely, which was the flood. Afterwards, it seems, God vanished it. Very odd person - he wouldn't let me touch his Bible, though I couldn't tell if he thought I'd pollute it or burst into flames.

(December 27, 2014 at 5:55 am)tantric Wrote: OOOkay - this one is from back in high school in the deep south, first day in Spanish class, a new requirement:

"If God wanted us to learn foreign languages, he wouldn't have written the Bible in English!"

(Also, when a new student moved in from England, someone actually asked what language they spoke there).

A different time, when I was detained, I met a fairly intelligent hacker type. Not a lot of options for talk, so we talked. He was absolutely convinced every word of the Bible was true and had some very odd ideas about what the antediluvian Earth was like, which I learned when I chose that point to pick at. Apparently, in ancient times, there was a layer of water up in the atmosphere, enough to cover all the land masses completely, which was the flood. Afterwards, it seems, God vanished it. Very odd person - he wouldn't let me touch his Bible, though I couldn't tell if he thought I'd pollute it or burst into flames.

How odd. Perhaps you should have hissed every time he had his bible out

One of my classmates at school was a born-again believer (he's since gone on to be director of communication at a local cathedral and often gets trotted out on telly with the official opinion of one popular story or another. Last I saw of him, his hair had divorced him and he was well on the way to achieving critical mass).

Anyway, this was the mid-eighties and the Challenger space shuttle had hit the news for all the wrong reasons. This otherwise intelligent guy stated as fact that "God" had reached down and removed the famous O-ring deliberately to make the bird explode. I think it was something to do with humans getting too close to heaven, as I recall. For some reason he took offence at the gales of laughter from the whole class.

Then there was the torrentially rainy day I tried to make a sort of joke about modern drainage saving the world from another flood and he went on for an hour about how "God" said it would never do that again and the sign of its promise is the rainbow...

He also had this annoying habit of responding to the phrase 'fucking hell' with his own "why would you want to fuck in hell when you can make love in paradise?"

What a twat.

It would be in character for God to do such a dick thing though, after the Babel incident. He's clearly not confident of his omnipotence.