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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Edwardo Piet Away
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Religious Views: Atheistic panexperientialism
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#941
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 3:24 pm
For me it would be 2 and 3 but not 1 Wink
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#942
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 3:48 pm
(November 19, 2015 at 3:24 pm)Evie Wrote: For me it would be 2 and 3 but not 1 Wink

So if I make you mad, I'll get a tongue-lashing. But if I make you happy, you'll be so speechless you'll be tongue-tied.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
Religious Views: Atheistic panexperientialism
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#943
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 4:24 pm
No the promise is that I promise I'd love my tongue in you, the challenge is getting you to want it too Wink
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Cyberman Away
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#944
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 5:23 pm
(November 19, 2015 at 3:21 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(November 18, 2015 at 12:49 pm)Stimbo Wrote: "What do you like to see in a woman?"

"My tongue."

Is that a threat, a promise or a challenge?

A wish.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
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#945
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 8:41 pm
I feel like Li'l Johnny.
Mother: Johnny, are you trying to steal those cookies?
Li'l Johnny: No, Ma, I'm trying not to.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Reply
pgrimes15 Offline Donators
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#946
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 8:54 pm
Li'l Johnny is late for school.
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late today ?
Johnny: Sorry Miss. My dad got burnt this morning.
Teacher: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he wasn't badly hurt.
Johnny: Well, they don't mess about at the crematorium.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

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Cyberman Away
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Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
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#947
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 8:58 pm
Li'l Johnny was waiting for his mother to get back from town.
"Mom, you know that big expensive vase in the front room, that you're worried might get broken?"
"Yes," she said.
"Well, you can stop worrying."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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pgrimes15 Offline Donators
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#948
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 9:13 pm
November the 6th - the day after bonfire night.
Teacher: Now children, tell me what you did last night.
Rachel: Miss, we had sparklers and fireworks and my daddy made some hotdogs and it was very pretty.
Teacher: Thank you Rachel that sounds lovely. Now Johnny what did you do?
Johnny: Me and my mates got some fire crackers and shoved them up cats arses Miss.
Teacher: Rectum Johnny, rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em miss. Bloody blew 'em to bits!
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

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pgrimes15 Offline Donators
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#949
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 9:24 pm
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
And now it goes to school with her.
Between two lumps of bread.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

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pgrimes15 Offline Donators
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#950
RE: joke time
November 19, 2015 at 9:27 pm
Mary had a little lamb.
It loved to leap and frollick.
It tried to leap a barbed wire fence
And tore it's little tail off.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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