Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 12:18 am
(July 23, 2016 at 7:21 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (July 23, 2016 at 3:49 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Be careful what you wish for. In most of my day to day conversations (friend or not), the other person does not want to hear my conclusions/observations of active listening. They are much more comfortable with passive listening and passive response.
I get that a lot as well (and I've been told that I'm a VERY good listener). I can usually suss out if they actually want advice or just want to yak. First (once they stop for breath), I'll ask - sincerely - 'What can I do?'. If they want advice/help, they'll generally tell me once the opening is given. If they seem to ignore my offer, I tend to let them run on until they clearly feel better and I'll try to wrap up the convo with something like, 'Good talk' or 'Glad I was here for you'.
Boru
You sound like a good friend to people 
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 8:10 am
(This post was last modified: July 24, 2016 at 8:11 am by Cyberman.)
It's interesting, because I people obviously feel so comfortable with me as a listener that literally everyone - even random strangers in the supermarket who I never see again - simply up and tell me deeply personal things about themselves. I've had that all my life so far; an hour with me and I know more about them than anyone else. It's like I unconsciously create a vacuum around me that people can't help filling. It's proved useful in my own personal circumstances as well, such as when someone very close to me did a few things I won't mention, but which I needed to know and took about a year to fully find out the truth. If I ever write a tell-all book, I could bring down so many people. I could get a job with MI6.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 67212
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 8:51 am
People say the strangest things, to strangers. I actually had a random girl at a bar tell me she was looking to break into the contract killing business.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 9:48 am
Drunk people say the strangest things too 
Posts: 67212
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 10:45 am
I don't think she was, lol. She'd just walked in. I've tried to figure that one out for years now. Best I can come up with is that she was pissed at somebody, and came to tie one on.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
155
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 11:25 am
And that's how you met Beccs?
Posts: 67212
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 12:17 pm
Buddy, if I met Beccs...and she told me she wanted to be a hitman (er..hitwoman?) I'd give her a name and the cash just to keep her coming back round.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 1817
Threads: 18
Joined: April 22, 2011
Reputation:
17
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 12:20 pm
SHE: "You don't say much, do you?"
ME: "Well, I kinda gave up after I noticed you always started talking when I was half through a sentence."
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 1:47 pm
Ugh; I hate that myself. Especially when they make a conclusion based on what I wasn't even going to say, before I get the chance not to say it.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 23093
Threads: 26
Joined: February 2, 2010
Reputation:
106
RE: Active listening within friendships
July 24, 2016 at 9:15 pm
(July 24, 2016 at 12:20 pm)Gawdzilla Wrote: SHE: "You don't say much, do you?"
ME: "Well, I kinda gave up after I noticed you always started talking when I was half through a sentence."
When people interrupt, I simply stop talking. If they do it consistently, I keep my distance.
|
