Why should I be ashamed? A rant by a Mexican.

[Catholic_Lady]

That's is such a strange reaction. I didn't realize things were that bad in the states.

For the record, neither did I and I've lived here since I was 7.

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Hehe... I'm in Europe right now, and sometimes people assume I'm American. I'm always like, NOOOOOO I'M CANADIAN, DON'T ASSOCIATE ME WITH AMERICA I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. And then the people will always look considerably relieved and start treating me more nicely. It's kind of sad actually.

...This is the same type of bigotry though. Not from you, but from people treating you better than they otherwise would if you were American.

[shadow]

Hehe... I'm in Europe right now, and sometimes people assume I'm American. I'm always like, NOOOOOO I'M CANADIAN, DON'T ASSOCIATE ME WITH AMERICA I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. And then the people will always look considerably relieved and start treating me more nicely. It's kind of sad actually.

...This is the same type of bigotry though. Not from you, but from people treating you better than they otherwise would if you were American.

I know... because if I lived a few kilometers to the south I'd be an American. So like that's a good measure.

I think people are just scared with whole Trump thing happening in the States. Since he's loudly representing the whole USA, despite very high disapproval ratings, people associate America with his 'America First' policies and beliefs, which are obviously not very attractive to outsiders.

It's silly, though, because there are hundreds of millions of Americans who are great and thoughtful people. Again, why racial prejudice is not just extremely unfair to individuals, but also highly inaccurate.

[Catholic_Lady]

...This is the same type of bigotry though. Not from you, but from people treating you better than they otherwise would if you were American.

I know... because if I lived a few kilometers to the south I'd be an American. So like that's a good measure.

I think people are just scared with whole Trump thing happening in the States. Since he's loudly representing the whole USA, despite very high disapproval ratings, people associate America with his 'America First' policies and beliefs, which are obviously not very attractive to outsiders.

It's silly, though, because there are hundreds of millions of Americans who are great and thoughtful people. Again, why racial prejudice is not just extremely unfair to individuals, but also highly inaccurate.

Yep! And like the US, Mexico has its own set of corruption and a lot of crime, but it's completelly off base to associate every Mexican person to the bad seeds, just as it is to do so with Americans. Bad seeds exist in all walks of life.

[brewer]

Racism by indoctrination.

[J a c k]

My two cents: it could be that your friend has something to learn about Mexicans... like they are human beings first and Mexicans second. Sometimes little weird moments like that are opportunities for growth. I like to remain optimistic when confronted with situations like that.

But then again, my optimism has gotten me in trouble sometimes. I guess its worth keeping in mind that you might have gotten a peek at her inner ignorance. If she really has a negative opinion of Mexicans, you don't need to put up with her shit.

But let me end on a positive note. If she is acting funny about your ethnicity, maybe she's just internalized some bad ideas along the way. What better way to fix that then to demonstrate that her preconceived notions are wrong? All of us have misunderstandings of one kind or another. It's nice when people are patient with us in those circumstances, provided we are willing to open our minds and challenge our prejudices.

If she has internalized bad ideas along the way, and knowing me she still generalizes us, I have no intention of demonstrating or proving myself to her. She knows me, my values, my ethics, my character. It’s as if after her reaction, I go out into the world and assume all white people are racist. No white person has to prove to me that they’re not racist. I won’t categorize them as guilty of racism, unless they personally behaved in a racist manner. I expect the same respect in return. If she had met Mexican people that left a bad impression and after knowing me she still hasn’t learned a thing, then that’s too bad. I won’t waste my time making a case for myself. I actually think she felt embarrassed and was hoping nobody heard me. If that’s the case, I won’t waste my time, either.

[The Valkyrie]

So, you're saying you want your friend...


...disappeared?

[vulcanlogician]

If she has internalized bad ideas along the way, and knowing me she still generalizes us, I have no intention of demonstrating or proving myself to her. She knows me, my values, my ethics, my character. It’s as if after her reaction, I go out into the world and assume all white people are racist. No white person has to prove to me that they’re not racist. I won’t categorize them as guilty of racism, unless they personally behaved in a racist manner. I expect the same respect in return. If she had met Mexican people that left a bad impression and after knowing me she still hasn’t learned a thing, then that’s too bad. I won’t waste my time making a case for myself. I actually think she felt embarrassed and was hoping nobody heard me. If that’s the case, I won’t waste my time, either.

Yeah, you should probably ignore the bit of advice I gave in my previous post. I kind of regret posting it, really. It is a kind of attitude that I personally have toward people with whom I disagree, but, in all honesty, it hasn't always served me well. Most of the time it leads to me being taken advantage of. I'm kind of a doormat sometimes, and that's nothing I'd wish for you. You are correct to consider ignorant attitudes towards your heritage as a breach of your boundaries (and act accordingly).

Although I made my comments in the spirit of optimism about people's potential to grow and change, it lacked empathy for your side of the experience. You shouldn't put up with a racist mindset; such mindsets are often interpersonally destructive, and it is probably wise for you to keep your distance from this person. There are too many enlightened and accepting people around for you to waste your time with someone who doesn't accept who you are.

[Brian37]

So? I should whisper? I should hide? What?

You be you. I see that as really not that different than when I talk about my former Catholic faith. I lived it so why shouldn't I talk about it?

Nobody get's to choose where they are born, nobody should be ashamed of where they are born. 

Your real friends will never mind you being open. 

I don't get why someone would get upset about you talking about food or booze you like or don't like in any case.

Some Americans love fried catfish, I can't stand it. I can't stand Jack Danials whiskey and I hate Budweiser. 

We all have things we like about our upbringing and the places we come from, but that does not mean we owe blind loyalty to everything about it.

I love my Hispanic neighbors, they have been the best neighbors I have ever had, and very patient considering I haven't kept my house up. But they are really happy I am finally doing something about it. Lots of people born here in America I have met in my 51 years I would not wan't living next to me.

[Minimalist]

If it weren't for Mexicans no work would get done at all in Errorzona.

[J a c k]

If she has internalized bad ideas along the way, and knowing me she still generalizes us, I have no intention of demonstrating or proving myself to her. She knows me, my values, my ethics, my character. It’s as if after her reaction, I go out into the world and assume all white people are racist. No white person has to prove to me that they’re not racist. I won’t categorize them as guilty of racism, unless they personally behaved in a racist manner. I expect the same respect in return. If she had met Mexican people that left a bad impression and after knowing me she still hasn’t learned a thing, then that’s too bad. I won’t waste my time making a case for myself. I actually think she felt embarrassed and was hoping nobody heard me. If that’s the case, I won’t waste my time, either.

Yeah, you should probably ignore the bit of advice I gave in my previous post. I kind of regret posting it, really. It is a kind of attitude that I personally have toward people with whom I disagree, but, in all honesty, it hasn't always served me well. Most of the time it leads to me being taken advantage of. I'm kind of a doormat sometimes, and that's nothing I'd wish for you. You are correct to consider ignorant attitudes towards your heritage as a breach of your boundaries (and act accordingly).

Although I made my comments in the spirit of optimism about people's potential to grow and change, it lacked empathy for your side of the experience. You shouldn't put up with a racist mindset; such mindsets are often interpersonally destructive, and it is probably wise for you to keep your distance from this person. There are too many enlightened and accepting people around for you to waste your time with someone who doesn't accept who you are.  

Thank you for your response. I understand where you’re coming from, because I tend to be a doormat myself. Thing is that my dad raised me to be proud of my heritage, and while I tend to be a doormat in other things, when it comes to my race I don’t duck. Your response feels sincere. Thank you for helping me understand where you were coming from.  

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I suppose, that I see a difference, between a general prejudice, and if there is an immediate issue with a particular group.  Just because it is right, doesn't always mean that it is the wisest choice.

But 'Mexican' is a pretty big group, and probably not the accurate correlating feature of the people you take issue with. Every racial group has many crappy people and many great people. That's textbook racial discrimination to lump a huge amount of good people into a negative classification... and in this case, why exactly? So you don't offend the ears of those around you by mentioning 'Mexicans'? I'm sorry, but anyone who would freak out upon hearing the word 'mexican' is so steeped in racism that censoring myself to pander to their harmful and inaccurate worldview is the last thing I would do.

^^^
All of that.
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