Posts: 46322
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
April 17, 2019 at 6:08 am
Shortly after the flight takes off, the pilot gets on the intercom and announces the usual: 'I'm Captain Smith. Today we'll be cruising at 28 000 feet...' and so on. When he's done, he forgets to shut off the intercom, turns to his co-pilot and says, 'My flight schedule's been nothing less than intense lately. More than anything right now, I could use a cup of coffee and a blow job.'
Naturally, EVERYONE on the plane hears this. A female flight attendant is absolutely horrified, and immediately rushes toward the front of the plane to get the captain to turn off the microphone before he says anything else.
As she's sprinting down the aisle, one of the passengers calls out, 'Don't forget the coffee!!'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 33166
Threads: 1413
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation:
152
RE: joke time
April 21, 2019 at 11:53 pm
So Alan is supposed to be an anagram of "anal" because dad likes it?
Posts: 5690
Threads: 8
Joined: April 3, 2014
Reputation:
68
RE: joke time
April 22, 2019 at 1:57 am
Kit, that's a spoiler for people who read back through the jokes from the end.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
April 22, 2019 at 2:04 am
Kit. Wrong again matey. His mom loves it. It's all right there in the joke...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 33166
Threads: 1413
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation:
152
RE: joke time
April 22, 2019 at 2:07 am
Nah, I think mum wears a strap-on for dad.
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
April 30, 2019 at 6:56 am
If they are microbiologists, then why can we see them with the naked eye?
Posts: 46322
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
April 30, 2019 at 7:08 am
I thought about becoming a tree surgeon, but I couldn't stand the sight of sap.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
April 30, 2019 at 5:03 pm
(This post was last modified: April 30, 2019 at 5:05 pm by Brian37.)
Wayfair is like a competitor for Ikea or TJ MAX, and their slogan is, "Wayfair, you have just what I need".
I cant understand why Tampex didn't beat them to, "Tampex, you 're there when I bleed".
Posts: 46322
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
April 30, 2019 at 5:10 pm
(April 30, 2019 at 5:03 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Wayfair is like a competitor for Ikea or TJ MAX, and their slogan is, "Wayfair, you have just what I need".
I cant understand why Tampex didn't beat them to, "Tampex, you 're there when I bleed".
'Tampax', not 'Tampex'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
