joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I"m guessing nowhere since 2 oz is a small shot and most fairs sell Cans that are 12 Fl oz

Has nobody heard of Minneapolis or Minnesota, or Mini of Micky and Minnie Mouse?
I'd say a 2 oz soda is very fucking Mini!

What is wrong with you?

Boru

[fredd bear]

I"m guessing nowhere since 2 oz is a small shot and most fairs sell Cans that are 12 Fl oz

Has nobody heard of Minneapolis or Minnesota, or Mini of Micky and Minnie Mouse?
I'd say a 2 oz soda is very fucking Mini!

OK, I get' Minnesota" (Mini/ Minnie soda) but not "Minneapolis'"

 Tangental: On Capri,I was once charged a couple of dollars for a 5oz bottle of coke. I kid you not. 

[Little lunch]

Has nobody heard of Minneapolis or Minnesota, or Mini of Micky and Minnie Mouse?
I'd say a 2 oz soda is very fucking Mini!

What is wrong with you?

Boru

It was a joke in two parts.
You're not the boss of Brian.

[chimp3]

Has nobody heard of Minneapolis or Minnesota, or Mini of Micky and Minnie Mouse?
I'd say a 2 oz soda is very fucking Mini!

OK, I get' Minnesota" (Mini/ Minnie soda) but not "Minneapolis'"

 Tangental:  On Capri,I was once charged a couple of dollars for a 5oz bottle of coke. I kid you not. 

There was a very small town in Arizona, Cleator. Population one. Mr Cleator had a little store where you could buy a cold soda. Middle of the desert, so a cold drink was very tempting. There was a counter with two stools , he would sit behind it. He would open the can for you and wait for you to take a sip. Then he would say "That'll be $5." What? Then he would say " If you sit down and talk to me  I'll only charge you $.50" . So you did. Then he'd give you his spiel about developing the town.

So since this is a joke forum:

Why is an Arizona thunderstorm like sex?

It comes on with a lot of bluster, lasts about a minute, leaves a little wet spot behind.

[fredd bear]

To change the tone,I shall post my favourite joke:

Setting; A New York Bar, run by one Richard Downing.

Each night, promptly at 7.00, Dr George Brown, a dermatologist, stops in for a drink. He always has thing, an almond daiquiri .

This particular night, the bar tender has run out of almond. He substitutes the almond with hickory.

George takes a sip, and enquires; "Is this an almond daiquiri Dick?



The reply; No, that's a hickory daiquiri doc. boom boom.

[Jackie]

Every time I hear a football announcer talk about the "Counter trey" play, I want to go to a McDonalds and order a burger and fries.

[Nay_Sayer]

So a family walks into a talent agency and says they have the greatest act ever, The agent says go ahead

So the family starts by ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ then the ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ while the ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ and ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀baby grand piano ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀so then the mother ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀the dad▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀backwards!  So the daughter▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀unicycle▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀autographed photo of Former President Ronald Reagan▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ all while▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀hanging from▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀then they all take a big bow.

The talent agent aghast and amazed says "what do ya call that act?!"
They reply "The Aristocrats!"

I'm fairly sure the forum shouldn't censor much of that.

(Member has been auto banned by system)

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

People are always saying laughter is the best medicine. If that's true, why aren't we supposed to laugh at people in wheelchairs?

Boru

[Jackie]

College kids are on spring break at a college bar from all over the country.

Student 1, " So where do you go? She asks him."

Student 2, "I go to Ohio State." He in turn turns to the person on the other side of him, "Where do you go?

Student 3. "I go to Penn State." He turns to another and asks, "Where do you go?"

Student 4. "I go to Oregon State." And they turn to someone else, "And where do you go?"

Student 5, "I go to Mental State."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

A man's elderly mum hasn't got long, so the doctor recommends that he give her a little brandy now and then.

'Wouldn't work,' says the man.  'Ma's White Ribbon, won't even allow spirits in the house.'

The doctor thinks a moment and says, 'Well, try this.  Put some brandy in her milk.  That should mask the taste.  I know it's a little deceitful, but it'll make her remaining time easier.'

The man agrees, and that very day, he adds a few drops of brandy to his mum's morning milk.  It seems to ease her a bit, so the next day, he adds a bit more, then a bit more the day after that.  He goes on increasing the amount of brandy in the milk day after day.  The dear old thing doesn't get well, but she seems happier and more at peace.

Eventually, the end draws near, and the old woman calls her son to her bedside and tells him, 'I haven't got long now, boy, and there's something I want you to do for me.'

'Anything, Ma, you know that.  What is it?'

'Whatever else you do after I'm gone, DON'T SELL THAT BLOODY COW!'

Boru