Posts: 46324
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 9, 2020 at 7:05 am
(February 8, 2020 at 7:51 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: The only difference between a good meal and a good time is where you put the cucumber...
Cucumbers are better than men because:
-Eight inch cucumbers are very common.
-Cucumbers don't lie about being eight inches.
-Cucumbers stay hard for days at a time.
-Cucumbers never get too excited too soon.
-Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist.
-Cucumbers don't pout if you have a headache.
-Cucumbers aren't allergic to your cat.
-Cucumbers don't flush the bog while you're in the shower.
Plenty more.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
February 9, 2020 at 9:01 am
Do women put salt on their cucumbers out of nostalgia
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
February 9, 2020 at 9:59 am
The funny thing is I only have cucumbers in salads.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
February 9, 2020 at 7:35 pm
(This post was last modified: February 9, 2020 at 7:49 pm by The Valkyrie.)
They're making a sequel to The Exorcist.
In it a mother engages the help of the Devil to get a priest out of her son.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46324
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 10, 2020 at 6:29 am
My wife told me she wanted it doggy style. She wasn't half pissed when I started humping her leg.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
February 11, 2020 at 2:47 am
At my recent AA meeting:
"Hi, I'm Beccs and I've now been sober for 40 days."
*general applause and congratulations*
"Not all in a row, mind you. Since 2005."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
February 11, 2020 at 2:51 am
(This post was last modified: February 11, 2020 at 2:58 am by ignoramus.)
I can't find my "Gone in sixty seconds" dvd
It was just here a minute ago!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
February 11, 2020 at 4:44 am
The wife just told me her Yahoo isn't working properly!
I told her to go see a gynaecologist!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 1897
Threads: 33
Joined: August 25, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: joke time
February 11, 2020 at 2:47 pm
(This post was last modified: February 11, 2020 at 2:51 pm by Divinity.)
Did you hear they're trying to eradicate cancer?
Yeah, I guess Cancer decided to infect Rush Limbaugh in hopes of changing people's minds.
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
Posts: 46324
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 11, 2020 at 8:17 pm
So, this Irishman walks out of a bar.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
