Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
September 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm
(This post was last modified: September 17, 2020 at 10:47 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Conservative Christian at prayer, "Lord. Why do you send all these trials upon us? Why do you make our lives so difficult? Why do you make us suffer? Is it because of the gays?:
God, "Yes."
Conservative Christian, "I knew it. We must do what we can about this abominations! We must keep them away from decent people."
God, "No, you don't understand. I'm punishing you for the way you treat them."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
September 18, 2020 at 4:21 am
^
Conservative Christian: then why did you make me an asshole?
God: I made you in my image
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
September 19, 2020 at 3:02 am
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll lower him into the ground at the funeral, lift the coffin out of the ground, turn it around, and then lower it again.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 6112
Threads: 53
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation:
20
RE: joke time
September 21, 2020 at 5:41 pm
A man is headed home home, he gets stuck in traffic. After about 10 minutes, there is a knock on his window. He rolls it down:
Driver: "What's going on?"
Stranger: "A terrorist group has seized the first family. They are demanding 500 million dollars, or they will douse them in gasoline, and set them on fire we are accepting donations."
Driver: "How much is everyone donating? "
Stranger: "About 1/2 a gallon."
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
September 22, 2020 at 8:52 pm
If you're ever attacked by a swarm of circus folk, go for the juggler!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
September 22, 2020 at 11:20 pm
On a first date at a bar.
Him, "Can I push your stool in?:
Her, "Let's see how the evening progresses, first."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46324
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
September 23, 2020 at 5:26 am
Mike Pence is so dull, his Secret Service code name is 'Mike Pence'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35313
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
September 23, 2020 at 8:42 am
I bought some antacid.
Now my bathroom is full of stoned ants!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
