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Things not to say when being arrested
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Inspired by Brian's thread, I want humourous things not to say while being arrested.
I'll start, of course. With a friend, "You'll never take him alive!" To Aussie cops, "Aborigine rights!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
I thought your jurisdiction ended in the mall parking lot...... Blart......
From watching Jim Can't Swim and Matt Orchard as many times as I have, I'd say anything that isn't along the lines of: "Are you suspecting me of something? If so, I'm not going to say a thing until I get a lawyer."
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png) I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad. 
‘Oh, sure, you’re a big man with that badge and that truncheon! I’d like to see you try...’
*thwack* Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Squeal piggie, souiee, souiee!
What if I offer you this nice bag of freshly baked donuts?
True story...
When in school, we went for a trip to the local police station, for a visit. My father went with us as adult supervision. At one point one of the cops put handcuffs on him to show what it's like. He became a little disconcerted with a five-year old Beccs banging on his leg yelling, "Don't you arrest my Dad!!" 😂😂😂 Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!!"
That's just to help them relax.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
"Oh wow! This is good stuff!"
‘Why are you arresting ME? That guy over there still owes me for weed!’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Is it true that cops carry around toy guns because they are afraid of real ones?
How does the inside of the jail cell look like? Aren't you too fat to be a cop? Is it true that cops suck each other off all the time?
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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