Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 7, 2024, 11:30 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say when being arrested

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Things not to say when being arrested
brewer Offline Donators
Emotionally exhausted/Morally bankrupt
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 28262
Threads: 522
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation: 90
#11
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:03 am
Guess where I hid my special medication.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
Find
Reply
Gawdzilla Sama Offline
Banana Hammer
*****
Religious Views: Rational
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation: 34
#12
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:10 am
"Your sister didn't complain about the drugs."
Find
Reply
The Grand Nudger Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Invasive
Posts: 67052
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation: 162
#13
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:30 am
Lemme grab my other id.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Find
Reply
Fake Messiah Offline
Activist for Sin
*****
Religious Views: Prozac supplants exorcism
Posts: 16802
Threads: 461
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation: 30
#14
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:36 am
I’m not drunk. I’m whiskey enhanced.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Find
Reply
Angrboda Offline
Bringer Of Grief
*****
Religious Views: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.
Posts: 29572
Threads: 116
Joined: February 22, 2011
Reputation: 159
#15
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:47 am
"Fascist."
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Find
Reply
arewethereyet Offline
Don't make me use my mom voice!
*******
Religious Views: Yawn...
Posts: 16322
Threads: 127
Joined: July 10, 2013
Reputation: 65
#16
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:50 am
Can I snort the rest of that before you handcuff me?
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#17
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:54 am
The body was in the trunk when I rented it.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Gawdzilla Sama Offline
Banana Hammer
*****
Religious Views: Rational
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation: 34
#18
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:00 pm
Do not say what everybody else says:

"How many drinks have you had today?"

"Six, maybe seven. Definitely not two."
Find
Reply
Nay_Sayer Online
I Say Nay!
******
Religious Views: Devout Pastafarian (Ordained minister)
Posts: 3407
Threads: 25
Joined: August 9, 2015
Reputation: 27
#19
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:31 pm (This post was last modified: February 13, 2021 at 12:55 pm by Nay_Sayer.)
"Please officer I'm just 9 years old"
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#20
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:37 pm (This post was last modified: February 13, 2021 at 12:39 pm by Brian37.)
"I recorded myself at the Capital".

FBI, "Yea, we know dumbass."
Actually true story a few years ago. Some idiot walked into a police station to report that his cocaine got stolen. The police had to have been thinking "Oh really, do tell me more.".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say when being arrested

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Worst things to say as a toast at a wedding. Brian37 4 580 March 8, 2021 at 6:52 pm
Last Post: Angrboda
  Things not to say on a job interview. Brian37 42 2750 March 7, 2021 at 10:29 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Things you don't want to hear your pilot say. Brian37 74 3994 March 2, 2021 at 8:18 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Things you can say to a drunk person or a toddler Losty 23 2211 July 2, 2020 at 1:55 pm
Last Post: A. Secular Human
  Things Your Pets Say To You BrianSoddingBoru4 13 2398 July 2, 2020 at 6:10 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Things you say to your pets BrokenQuill92 26 2077 July 1, 2020 at 12:06 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Worst thing to say if you as a Christian Fake Messiah 4 754 October 15, 2018 at 3:51 am
Last Post: Silver
  What not to say when....... Brian37 0 510 September 1, 2017 at 10:14 am
Last Post: Brian37
  What Should you say when an Athiest sneezes? ReptilianPeon 11 1779 May 17, 2015 at 1:15 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Shit blind people say BrokenQuill92 3 1449 February 1, 2014 at 2:17 am
Last Post: BrokenQuill92



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)