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Current time: May 28, 2024, 8:29 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
Q: What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A: A literalist takes things literally, and a kleptomaniac takes things - literally.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
A lawyer, after 30 years serving in the courts, decides to retire and open his own watering hole on the river front. 

He named it "The Side Bar".
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RE: joke time
Police have warned Man United fans not to bring flares to the final.

Because that's what they wore the last time they were at Wembley...
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
I have a new pair of shoes made of Lego.

Now, if I step on Lego blocks I don't get hurt...

...just taller.
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
RE: joke time
What do Latin speakers have in common with necrophiliacs?

They both have an interest in dead tongues.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
They told me that never giving up is manly. Thats why I am never giving up on cocaine.
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RE: joke time
Teacher: "Can I help you, sir?"

Iggy: "Yes, I'm here for the self-help class."

Teacher: "And which class is that?"

Iggy (whispers): "Premature ejaculation."

Teacher: "That's next week."
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
RE: joke time
I'm not an expert on masturbation.



But I can hold my own.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
‘I’ve named my testicles. I call them “The Hemsworth Brothers” because they look great and everyone’s surprised there’s a third one.’ - John Oliver

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
Which mythological creature casts no reflection?




Dying to live, living to die.
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