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Current time: December 15, 2024, 7:01 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
Q: What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A: A literalist takes things literally, and a kleptomaniac takes things - literally.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
A lawyer, after 30 years serving in the courts, decides to retire and open his own watering hole on the river front. 

He named it "The Side Bar".
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RE: joke time
Police have warned Man United fans not to bring flares to the final.

Because that's what they wore the last time they were at Wembley...

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
I have a new pair of shoes made of Lego.

Now, if I step on Lego blocks I don't get hurt...

...just taller.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
What do Latin speakers have in common with necrophiliacs?

They both have an interest in dead tongues.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
They told me that never giving up is manly. Thats why I am never giving up on cocaine.
Reply
RE: joke time
Teacher: "Can I help you, sir?"

Iggy: "Yes, I'm here for the self-help class."

Teacher: "And which class is that?"

Iggy (whispers): "Premature ejaculation."

Teacher: "That's next week."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
I'm not an expert on masturbation.



But I can hold my own.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
‘I’ve named my testicles. I call them “The Hemsworth Brothers” because they look great and everyone’s surprised there’s a third one.’ - John Oliver

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Which mythological creature casts no reflection?





Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply



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