Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: May 13, 2024, 11:43 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44175
Threads: 530
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4791
RE: joke time
April 12, 2021 at 6:15 am
Q: What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A: A literalist takes things literally, and a kleptomaniac takes things - literally.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#4792
RE: joke time
April 12, 2021 at 2:29 pm
A lawyer, after 30 years serving in the courts, decides to retire and open his own watering hole on the river front. 

He named it "The Side Bar".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34761
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#4793
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:29 am
Police have warned Man United fans not to bring flares to the final.

Because that's what they wore the last time they were at Wembley...
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34761
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#4794
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:30 am
I have a new pair of shoes made of Lego.

Now, if I step on Lego blocks I don't get hurt...

...just taller.
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44175
Threads: 530
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4795
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:54 am
What do Latin speakers have in common with necrophiliacs?

They both have an interest in dead tongues.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Find
Reply
purplepurpose Offline
Banned
Religious Views: work
Posts: 2501
Threads: 158
Joined: April 19, 2013
Reputation: 19
#4796
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 1:59 pm
They told me that never giving up is manly. Thats why I am never giving up on cocaine.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34761
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#4797
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 4:54 pm (This post was last modified: April 13, 2021 at 4:54 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Teacher: "Can I help you, sir?"

Iggy: "Yes, I'm here for the self-help class."

Teacher: "And which class is that?"

Iggy (whispers): "Premature ejaculation."

Teacher: "That's next week."
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34761
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#4798
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 4:55 pm
I'm not an expert on masturbation.



But I can hold my own.
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44175
Threads: 530
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4799
RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:06 pm
‘I’ve named my testicles. I call them “The Hemsworth Brothers” because they look great and everyone’s surprised there’s a third one.’ - John Oliver

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34761
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#4800
RE: joke time
April 14, 2021 at 5:24 am
Which mythological creature casts no reflection?




Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2358 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2830 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1511 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2394 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17195 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4349 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9055 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1911 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4535 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2900 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 6 Guest(s)