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Bible contradictions?
#71
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 1:44 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:42 am)aleialoura Wrote: Ummmm... A True Christian wouldn't do that.

So, yes.

SCORE! Then can we go pig out at a buffet, and make out again? Then have a sword fight which may end in..... a wrestling match? Again these are only questions there is no obligation Tongue... Although if the sword fight happens we must be wearing chain mail or heavier armor....

Okay, but I get to choose the buffet, and I want to have the sword fight/wrestling match before we go to the buffet, because they make me sleepy and shlumpish. Maybe after all that, we can watch the Spanish channel, and do hilarious voice-overs, before and after we make out again, of course.
42

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#72
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 1:42 am)aleialoura Wrote: Ummmm... A True Christian wouldn't do that.

So, yes.

Sure we would. And then we'd ask Jesus to forgive us. This code of morality allows us to sin, be forgiven and then sin again. In fact, sin is inevitable, so we might as well enjoy.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church

™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to. 

And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:  Wink
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#73
RE: Bible contradictions?

(March 8, 2012 at 1:44 am)Voltair Wrote: Although if the sword fight happens we must be wearing chain mail or heavier armor....

Not necessariy:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/655084...rmor-sucks
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#74
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 1:53 am)aleialoura Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:44 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:42 am)aleialoura Wrote: Ummmm... A True Christian wouldn't do that.

So, yes.

SCORE! Then can we go pig out at a buffet, and make out again? Then have a sword fight which may end in..... a wrestling match? Again these are only questions there is no obligation Tongue... Although if the sword fight happens we must be wearing chain mail or heavier armor....

Okay, but I get to choose the buffet, and I want to have the sword fight/wrestling match before we go to the buffet, because they make me sleepy and shlumpish. Maybe after all that, we can watch the Spanish channel, and do hilarious voice-overs, before and after we make out again, of course.

SOLD!!! AND.....

Jesus fucking Christ..... I have found the one! Damn probably got dehydrated from the orgasm I had reading that.

You guys feel free to continue your Bible contradiction discussion I have tons of fantasizing which if far more important to attend to...
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#75
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 1:58 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:53 am)aleialoura Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:44 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:42 am)aleialoura Wrote: Ummmm... A True Christian wouldn't do that.

So, yes.

SCORE! Then can we go pig out at a buffet, and make out again? Then have a sword fight which may end in..... a wrestling match? Again these are only questions there is no obligation Tongue... Although if the sword fight happens we must be wearing chain mail or heavier armor....

Okay, but I get to choose the buffet, and I want to have the sword fight/wrestling match before we go to the buffet, because they make me sleepy and shlumpish. Maybe after all that, we can watch the Spanish channel, and do hilarious voice-overs, before and after we make out again, of course.

SOLD!!! AND.....

Jesus fucking Christ..... I have found the one! Damn probably got dehydrated from the orgasm I had reading that.

Orgasms are my favorite, dude! Hell yah!

Heart

Maybe Jesus meant us just for each other so we can make out, and have orgasms and sword fights in hell together. Jesus just thinks of everything, doesn't he!

42

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#76
RE: Bible contradictions?
Quote:Since Luke didn't consider Jesus Joseph's son at all, he used Mary's genealogy.


Really?

Quote:He was the son, so it was thought, of Joseph,

the son of Heli, 24 the son of Matthat,

the son of Levi, the son of Melki,

the son of Jannai, the son of Joseph,

So "Mary" was the son of Heli? We have seven generations of bullshit here and not a daughter in the lot.

Just how fucking stupid are you? You lower the bar every time you open your mouth.

Again, I have no doubt that you have lied to yourself so many times that you believe your preposterous nonsense to be true but we are rational people and all we have to do is read your bullshit to see how fucked up it is.
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#77
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 2:09 am)aleialoura Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:58 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:53 am)aleialoura Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:44 am)Voltair Wrote:
(March 8, 2012 at 1:42 am)aleialoura Wrote: Ummmm... A True Christian wouldn't do that.

So, yes.

SCORE! Then can we go pig out at a buffet, and make out again? Then have a sword fight which may end in..... a wrestling match? Again these are only questions there is no obligation Tongue... Although if the sword fight happens we must be wearing chain mail or heavier armor....

Okay, but I get to choose the buffet, and I want to have the sword fight/wrestling match before we go to the buffet, because they make me sleepy and shlumpish. Maybe after all that, we can watch the Spanish channel, and do hilarious voice-overs, before and after we make out again, of course.

SOLD!!! AND.....

Jesus fucking Christ..... I have found the one! Damn probably got dehydrated from the orgasm I had reading that.

Orgasms are my favorite, dude! Hell yah!

Heart

Maybe Jesus meant us just for each other so we can make out, and have orgasms and sword fights in hell together. Jesus just thinks of everything, doesn't he!

...... Holy shit I would be honored to make out, orgasm, and sword fight with you for all eternity while on fire. That is like.... Valhalla on steroids.... Do you happen to be single? And if not do you happen to care enough about the fellow to where if I devoured him like a 18 foot anaconda you would be offended?

FUCK YEAH! PRAISE JESUS!
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#78
RE: Bible contradictions?
(March 8, 2012 at 2:13 am)Voltair Wrote: ...... Holy shit I would be honored to make out, orgasm, and sword fight with you for all eternity while on fire. That is like.... Valhalla on steroids.... Do you happen to be single? And if not do you happen to care enough about the fellow to where if I devoured him like a 18 foot anaconda you would be offended?

FUCK YEAH! PRAISE JESUS!

I'm yours completely!!! Heart and damned soul!

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#79
RE: Bible contradictions?
You must have been the light that Isaiah saw falling from heaven.... Heaven could not contain the darkness in your soul. It is magnetic.... I can feel the dark embrace of your wickedness calling out to me in the night.... It bids me to come to you.... it bids me to come together with you in the most unholy of unions so that we may spawn a scourge upon this world of the likes no one can resist!
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#80
RE: Bible contradictions?
My soul is indeed a hardened, dark and sacred thing, anointed by Lucifer, and meant for no one but you, my dearest and only God of all that is impure and wicked.

42

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