Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 23, 2024, 2:10 pm
Atheist Forums › Community › Atheism v
Marriage problems with theist

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Marriage problems with theist
Mister Agenda Offline Donators
Donator
*****
Religious Views: Rational skeptic
Posts: 10693
Threads: 15
Joined: September 9, 2011
Reputation: 119
#11
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Unitarian Universalism: the religion of compromise.
Find
Reply
Doubting Thomas Offline
El Conquistador
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation: 45
#12
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 7, 2012 at 7:25 pm
You should just be open & honest about it with her, and make sure she knows that you're not rejecting her, you just don't believe in religion any more.

I made the mistake of keeping my doubts bottled up instead of telling my wife, and she was angry when I finally told her that I didn't believe any more.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Find
Reply
5thHorseman Offline
Heir to the Hitch
****
Religious Views: Neo Atheist
Posts: 2966
Threads: 124
Joined: May 12, 2011
Reputation: 30
#13
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 7, 2012 at 8:21 pm
(March 6, 2012 at 10:41 pm)Shell B Wrote: Min has a point. There could be something else pissing her off.

Men aren't rational, either, Min. My ex used to get mad at me when I caught him doing stupid shit. Wink

Running round the house with your used panties on his head whilst snorting large quantities of cocaine?

My bitch gets mad at me for that too.
Find
Reply
Violet Offline
Buffalo and Bee Lover
*****
Religious Views: There are beeautiful cloud buffalo in the sky.
Posts: 15755
Threads: 194
Joined: May 15, 2009
Reputation: 145
#14
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 8, 2012 at 6:26 am
Does your stance against religion matter more than your acceptance of your wife('s belief(s))?

Shouldn't be difficult for you to work out from there.

Have a problem to share?
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Find
Reply
kılıç_mehmet Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Mixed
Posts: 4055
Threads: 39
Joined: October 2, 2011
Reputation: 16
#15
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 8, 2012 at 3:18 pm
(March 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm)Roshambo Wrote: Hey all, new member here, and troubled.

Over the last year, I've found myself moving from a kind of believing to casting it off mostly to the default atheist position. I read a lot about the subject lately (Dawkins/Hitchens/etc) and consume several debates and videos constantly.

While at a distance now from the family (Seventh-Day Adventists mainly) in IL (I'm in wife's home state of CT) I find myself at odds now. I went through SDA Christian schools on and off, stopped after 2 years of boarding school and finished public school the final 2 years.

I then joined the Marines for 4 years, mostly agnostic. Met my wife around 2009 and married her, got out in 2010 and visited IL for a year while going to college, now we're in CT and I'm going to state college.

While dating we spoke briefly about religion and kids and how we'd probably put them in church schools, and she mostly grew up just going to church but stopped long ago and holds the distant belief without practicing really.

Over the last few months I've come across great minds and works by writers, and also those awesome debates, and I find myself completely atheist now. The wife notices this, and while she hasn't been to church at all and we never spoke of god really, barely ever, she is incredibly pissed now. She slowly got mad that I was watching stuff and that I was intrigued but she didn't share the intrigue I did. She's mad at where I've ended up, and we just got into a huge argument back and forth about things, mostly ending with "well, if we have kids (we don't now) how will they be raised. This is serious and I need to think about this..." then emotional situation for her followed.

My question to anyone who has been through this, or has helped a friend through this, is what to do now. We have an young marriage but we love each other a lot, and depend a ton on each other. We are both in college, and picking up and splitting up (if it comes to that) is not really an option for a long time (I'm 50% disabled and depend entirely on my G.I. bill and disability while going to school - can't stop mid semester, etc)..what should I expect and what is the best thing to do for both of us? I don't want to be a pushover and ignore my perspective of facts and disbelief, and I don't want to be a douche-nozzle and keep pushing things on her.

Thank you
I suggest you go see a counsellor or something.



[Image: trkdevletbayraklar.jpg]
Üze Tengri basmasar, asra Yir telinmeser, Türük bodun ilingin törüngin kim artatı udaçı erti?
Find
Reply
Ace Otana Away
Rebel
*****
Religious Views: De-facto Atheist, Secular Humanist
Posts: 3872
Threads: 39
Joined: August 25, 2008
Reputation: 43
#16
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Quote:She slowly got mad that I was watching stuff and that I was intrigued but she didn't share the intrigue I did. She's mad at where I've ended up, and we just got into a huge argument back and forth about things, mostly ending with "well, if we have kids (we don't now) how will they be raised. This is serious and I need to think about this..." then emotional situation for her followed.

For me, that would of been more than enough to end it. But that's me.
Think you two need to find some common ground long before having kids.


Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan

Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity.

Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist.

You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
Find
Reply
Autumnlicious Away
Reborn
*****
Religious Views: Lillith is my homegirl
Posts: 6191
Threads: 124
Joined: November 13, 2009
Reputation: 70
#17
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm
I am always amazed at how far people get (marriage and even kids) before *surprise* turns out they're not really meant for each other because they never connected over basic shit.

Like stuff that matters to you.

But then again, lust and love makes one crazy, I hear, and sometimes loneliness hurts too bad.
Slave to the Patriarchy no more
Find
Reply
The Grand Nudger Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Invasive
Posts: 67189
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation: 162
#18
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 8, 2012 at 9:17 pm


I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Find
Reply
AthiestAtheist Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 431
Threads: 23
Joined: November 17, 2011
Reputation: 8
#19
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 9, 2012 at 12:37 am
(March 8, 2012 at 6:26 am)Vaeolet Lilly Blossom Wrote: Does your stance against religion matter more than your acceptance of your wife('s belief(s))?

Shouldn't be difficult for you to work out from there.

Have a problem to share?

[Image: facepalm.jpg]
"Sisters, you know only the north; I have traveled in the south lands. There are churches there, believe me, that cut their children too, as the people of Bolvangar did--not in the same way, but just as horribly. They cut their sexual organs, yes, both boys and girls; they cut them with knives so that they shan't feel. That is what the Church does, and every church is the same: control, destroy, obliterate every good feeling. So if a war comes, and the Church is on one side of it, we must be on the other, no matter what strange allies we find ourselves bound to."

-Ruta Skadi, The Subtle Knife
Find
Reply
Violet Offline
Buffalo and Bee Lover
*****
Religious Views: There are beeautiful cloud buffalo in the sky.
Posts: 15755
Threads: 194
Joined: May 15, 2009
Reputation: 145
#20
RE: Marriage problems with theist
March 9, 2012 at 1:38 am (This post was last modified: March 9, 2012 at 1:40 am by Violet.)



[Image: trollface.jpg?1296494117]

Post a picture response which adds nothing, receive a picture response which adds nothing.

PS: my picture's bigger.
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Atheism v
Marriage problems with theist

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  The fascinating asymmetry of theist-atheist discussion Astreja 5 648 July 22, 2023 at 8:02 pm
Last Post: Thumpalumpacus
  I'm no longer an anti-theist Duty 27 2905 September 16, 2022 at 1:08 pm
Last Post: Angrboda
  I received a letter from a theist, need a good reply Radamand 22 2671 March 22, 2022 at 10:56 pm
Last Post: Ferrocyanide
  Why do theist often drop the letter s when referring to atheists? I_am_not_mafia 56 14101 August 23, 2018 at 4:20 pm
Last Post: Neo-Scholastic
Tongue Disproving Odin - An Experiment in arguing with a theist with Theist logic Cecelia 983 182541 June 6, 2018 at 2:11 pm
Last Post: Raven Orlock
  Why was Newton a theist? Alexmahone 65 14693 March 24, 2018 at 12:39 pm
Last Post: Jehanne
  Why America is anti-theist. Goosebump 3 1276 March 1, 2018 at 9:06 am
Last Post: mlmooney89
  Hug a Theist vulcanlogician 31 6579 December 23, 2017 at 1:31 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  a new atheist and marriage Thegoodatheist 70 13221 August 9, 2017 at 9:35 pm
Last Post: Astonished
  Serious Problems with Atheism Pulse 300 30798 January 29, 2017 at 4:22 am
Last Post: maestroanth



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)