Great news for everyone

[downbeatplumb]

That's because you don't understand the message. Your eyes have been shut to the truth by the dark lord. But the good news is that Jesus loves you and is waiting for that 'spiritual' call from you and he always answers

So many cliches....poe perhaps.

[NoMoreFaith]

They're all Poes, some just approach it from a different direction.

[Nine]

Just to be sure which "Dark Lord" are we on about here

[Welsh cake]

Did you know that Jesus loves you? Yeah, it's true.

Too bad, I'm not gay, I'm asexual.

But that's not all. Because you love him that means that when you die you will be resurrected to spend the rest of eternity in paradise where you can carry on worshipping him and loving him for ever.

What if someone only likes him as a friend? Do they go to Detroit instead?

I know atheists

No you don't, and that's your problem, preacher. You're fooling no one but yourself if you honestly think that.

have given in to the temptation of the flesh and evils of science and are spiritually lost.

Such as the evil technology you're currently using to advertise your pious drivel that scientific advancements helped to bring about? Hypocrisy much?

I used to be the same as you

Newsflash: You suck at lying.

But now I'm so much better than you

Elitist little shit aren't you?

But you can be as good as me if you want.

Do sod off. Even other Christians who assert there's no one good but god would berate you for that ridiculous poe-like statement.

Just study your bible and you'll find Jesus there waiting for you.

I have. There's no evidence he ever existed. Just people reporting hearsay, about hearsay.

I like Carl Sagan as well and he wasn't an atheist and very spiritual as well

Carl Sagan, like Albert Einstein was intellectually dishonest about his personal beliefs and was afraid to admit to his peers that he was a non-believer, possibly of fear of ridicule or social pressure from idiots like you. His widowed wife pretty much put that debate to rest a long time ago when she admitted her late husband didn't believe in god, thereby making him, you guessed it, an atheist.

My priest says that I should be persistant

There is no priest telling you what to do. Its just you here, trolling. Have the integrity to admit that at least.

[Faith No More]

That's because you don't understand the message.

Since you're new I will give you a heads up. If you stop laying down bullshit statements like that, your experience here will go much smoother. You cannot offer anything about Christianity that we don't already know and understand, so statements like this just come off as insults.

[Minimalist]

That's because you don't understand the message.

Actually, its because the message is bullshit and we've heard it all before from jesus freaks who are better at it than you.

Bullshit remains bullshit and no amount of pious blather can change it.

[One King]

Praise the Lord. Fantastic news Saved. You made the greatest decision of your life and I promise you that you will not regret it. You are going to find that life only gets better from here on out. I'm so happy to have yet another new brother in Christ. That's what we are. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

I've known the Lord Jesus Christ now for over15 years and I couldn't be happier.

So very happy to hear that another soul will join us in Heaven someday. Contact me anytime. I'd be more than happy to help guide you should you have any thoughts or questions.

[genkaus]

Praise the Lord. Fantastic news Saved. You made the greatest decision of your life and I promise you that you will not regret it. You are going to find that life only gets better from here on out. I'm so happy to have yet another new brother in Christ. That's what we are. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

I've known the Lord Jesus Christ now for over15 years and I couldn't be happier.

So very happy to hear that another soul will join us in Heaven someday. Contact me anytime. I'd be more than happy to help guide you should you have any thoughts or questions.

Both brothers and sisters in Christ? Shouldn't it be brothers in Christ and Christ in sisters? Or maybe your Christ has some serious pegging fetish.

[Mister Agenda]

I don't understand why you are so angry. All I'm doing is giving you the great news that I have heard. If you don't want to listen then that's up to you but please don't be rude as it offends me.

Thank you and God bless.

-Saved

Great posts, you sound just like some Christians, hilarious!

---

I think this guy is a POE. Something smack of too much exacting fundamentalism, not even real fundies are that consitant.

I think you may have excellent 'praydar' in this case.

[Cinjin]

Time will tell if he's a poe. I always kinda hope that they're not .... cause they're so much more fun when they're fucking crazy

(not that you're not fun Tacky ... you're just not crazy fun)