Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 10, 2022, 10:47 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Great news for everyone
#1
Great news for everyone
Hey guys and gals, I've got some fantastic news that you'll really want to know about.

Did you know that Jesus loves you? Yeah, it's true. He really does love you personally and all he wants from you in return is for you to love him more than anything or anyone else in this world. That's it. Pretty cool huh?

But that's not all. Because you love him that means that when you die you will be resurrected to spend the rest of eternity in paradise where you can carry on worshipping him and loving him for ever. Isn't that fantastic?

I know atheists are only the way they are because they hate God, have given in to the temptation of the flesh and evils of science and are spiritually lost. I used to be the same as you until just a few days ago but now I have been saved and I'm so happy that I just want to share that happiness with my fellow humans.

But now I'm so much better than you because I've been born again into the truth of divine love and knowledge. But you can be as good as me if you want. Brilliant isn't it?

Just study your bible and you'll find Jesus there waiting for you.

Bless you.

-Saved
Reply
#2
RE: Great news for everyone
Hey, Summer.... where's that meme you made for me?
Reply
#3
RE: Great news for everyone
(March 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm)Saved Wrote: Hey guys and gals, I've got some fantastic news that you'll really want to know about.

I'll be checking your sources, of course.

Quote:Did you know that Jesus loves you?

As much as a fictional character from a poorly written book can.

Quote:Yeah, it's true. He really does love you personally and all he wants from you in return is for you to love him more than anything or anyone else in this world. That's it. Pretty cool huh?

No. Not cool. I would never love Jesus... not even a little, because Jesus isn't even the most interesting fictional character out there. I love Batman. Batman is worthy of my love because he's got cool gadgets, and what I imagine to be a big penis.

All kidding aside, I would never ever love a fictional character from any book more than I love the real people in my life. What kind of brainwashed, ignorant moron would do that? Disgusting!

Quote:But that's not all. Because you love him that means that when you die you will be resurrected to spend the rest of eternity in paradise where you can carry on worshipping him and loving him for ever. Isn't that fantastic?

I'd rather just cease to exist, or go to hell and burn with my brothers, thank you. Why would I want to go to a place that's supposedly paradise, yet filled with all sorts of the same mindless sheep I avoided in life. And for eternity? Get fucking real. Send me where these awesome people are going, please:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s47ArcQL-XQ

Quote:I know atheists are only the way they are because they hate God, have given in to the temptation of the flesh and evils of science and are spiritually lost.

Science is evil? Go fuck yourself. You're communicating all of this heinously arrogant and stupid bullshit with us right now through the grace of science. Remember science is evil when you have a potentially fatal disease, and aren't ready to go to your paradise yet. Fool!!!

Quote:I used to be the same as you until just a few days ago but now I have been saved and I'm so happy that I just want to share that happiness with my fellow humans.

Did your god tell you to lie too? No way you were ever like the atheists here, buddy. Don't feed us your bullshit.

Quote:But now I'm so much better than you because I've been born again into the truth of divine love and knowledge. But you can be as good as me if you want. Brilliant isn't it?

Nope. Stupid. There is not a shred of truth to anything having to do with your shitty religion. I was born okay the first time, thank you.

Quote:Just study your bible and you'll find Jesus there waiting for you.

Bless you.

-Saved

I have studied the bible. It made me absolutely sick. Have you studied the bible? And you didn't get sick? What kind of amoral asshole are you, anyway?

You're either a liar, or have a severely damaged moral compass. It's that simple.

42

Reply
#4
RE: Great news for everyone
Damn. I thought there was actually good news in here.
Reply
#5
RE: Great news for everyone
Born again cos his deity couldn't get it right the first time...meh. Dodgy

Idiot post reported. But thanks for today's science viewing Alei Thumb up hadn't seen this one yet.
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Reply
#6
RE: Great news for everyone
You know I'm always good for it, Kichi. Wink
42

Reply
#7
RE: Great news for everyone
(March 13, 2012 at 11:14 pm)aleialoura Wrote:


I don't understand why you are so angry. All I'm doing is giving you the great news that I have heard. If you don't want to listen then that's up to you but please don't be rude as it offends me.

Thank you and God bless.

-Saved
Reply
#8
RE: Great news for everyone
I'm offended by the mere thought of Jesus. I think it's terribly rude of you to come to an atheist forum and espouse your ill-founded beliefs, as if we had never heard such. It's a bit condescending, don't ya think.

Thank you, and

[Image: sKcR3.jpg]
42

Reply
#9
RE: Great news for everyone
I like Carl Sagan as well and he wasn't an atheist and very spiritual as well Big Grin
Reply
#10
RE: Great news for everyone
Hail Sagan, Degrasse Tyson, and Hitchens! The TRUE Trinity. Your god is no match. Beaten before he even had a chance, since all of these people exist.. and I can't say the same about Yahweh. Wink
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Constantine the Great Der/die AtheistIn 14 3970 July 3, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Tell Me Again How Great Fucking Xtians Are Minimalist 44 11537 June 26, 2017 at 6:05 pm
Last Post: Astonished
  God: The Great Tempter Rhondazvous 146 13712 March 5, 2016 at 10:06 pm
Last Post: Wyrd of Gawd
  I have a question about the Great Flood ApeNotKillApe 32 6117 September 28, 2015 at 10:01 pm
Last Post: KevinM1
Wink A great day for the church... StuW 0 1112 January 18, 2014 at 3:22 pm
Last Post: StuW
  2010 was a great year SHIN KAIRI 4 2561 March 31, 2013 at 6:09 am
Last Post: Violet
  God is the great spirit friend jstrodel 320 88328 March 29, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  God is the great spirit Killer. Cinjin 5 3282 March 23, 2013 at 1:38 am
Last Post: Ryantology
  The Great Virgin Mother Isis - Ancient Mythology is not a Cheeseburger michaelsherlock 13 7091 June 12, 2012 at 8:29 am
Last Post: michaelsherlock
  Great anagram Thor 11 4165 February 6, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Last Post: Rayaan



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)