Mrs. Christ

[Reforged]

To be honest if I was one of the people who had unearthed this I would of changed it to say husband.
I mean can anyone imagine the reaction? It would be fucking amazing.
I'd fabricate an entire chapter after the last feast where Jesus has a steamy shower scene with a black guy, an asian guy, a mexican guy and a native american guy in which his soapy wet body gets passed around like a slab of raw meat thrown to a pack of ravenous wolves. His asshole would be described as being like one of Susan Boyles pressure socks turned inside out.
After the resurrection he'd perform another miracle to get a sex change, hence forth be known as the luscious Jessy who has a fondness for sodomy and abortions. She'd go on Debbie does Dallas style adventures in which it always ends with her getting pregnant and going "oh well, time to suck another demon tumour out! :-D"
In the video adaptation I'd have planned everyone in the shot laughs at this point, it freeze frames then the credits roll to some little house on the prairie style music.

... am I going to hell yet? :-)

[Justtristo]

Let the shrieking commence!

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/19/us/his...TE&ei=5043

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A historian of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has identified a scrap of papyrus that she says was written in Coptic in the fourth century and contains a phrase never seen in any piece of Scripture: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife …'”

The faded papyrus fragment is smaller than a business card, with eight lines on one side, in black ink legible under a magnifying glass. Just below the line about Jesus having a wife, the papyrus includes a second provocative clause that purportedly says, “she will be able to be my disciple.”

At least in this tradition you don't have to worry about your godboy being gay.

Well Gospel writing was an industry back then, so it is not surprising that a gospel would have been written that portrayed Jesus as has having a wife. So apologists can say "oh this gospel was written a century or two after the four canonical gospels".

However the earliest mentions of the new testament gospels was by Irenaeus in 180 AD, which was roughly the same time the according to scholars Nag Hammadi gospels were first written.

[Minimalist]

... am I going to hell yet? :-)

Nah - there is no hell. Just more shit invented by idiots to scare themselves.

[Polaris]

Well the Church is referred to as the bride of Christ throughout the New Testament.....in the format of that papyrus fragment, it seems that was likely the meaning.

[Reforged]

Well the Church is referred to as the bride of Christ throughout the New Testament.....in the format of that papyrus fragment, it seems that was likely the meaning.

Yeah, I don't think Christ would define a bunch of virgin priests as a bride, I think most guys in that position would go "Thanks, I'll pass.". Unless you're saying he'd like that?
In which case that shower scene scenario I pitched isn't that far-fetched now is it?

---

... am I going to hell yet? :-)

Nah - there is no hell. Just more shit invented by idiots to scare themselves.

Well now I'm just disappointed.
All that effort for nothing.

[festive1]

I'd fabricate an entire chapter after the last feast where Jesus has a steamy shower scene with a black guy, an asian guy, a mexican guy and a native american guy in which his soapy wet body gets passed around like a slab of raw meat

Okay, porn references aside, the Mormons beat you to this one. They already have said that Christ came to the native people's of North America... Just a rip off of the Book of Mormon, though that is promising on the porn front too...

[Reforged]

I'd fabricate an entire chapter after the last feast where Jesus has a steamy shower scene with a black guy, an asian guy, a mexican guy and a native american guy in which his soapy wet body gets passed around like a slab of raw meat

Okay, porn references aside, the Mormons beat you to this one. They already have said that Christ came to the native people's of North America... Just a rip off of the Book of Mormon, though that is promising on the porn front too...

Did he make a wigwams with them?
Because if not they're in for one hell of a shock when they read my chapter.

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

Well the Church is referred to as the bride of Christ throughout the New Testament.....in the format of that papyrus fragment, it seems that was likely the meaning.

Captain Metaphor to the rescue!

[Justtristo]

Well the Church is referred to as the bride of Christ throughout the New Testament.....in the format of that papyrus fragment, it seems that was likely the meaning.

I seldom agree with you, however you could be onto something. Because given it is likely this manuscript fragment is from a Gnostic gospel, portraying Jesus as a married man is a little odd. Since Gnostics were anti-sex, anti-marriage and considered a celibate life as the ideal that all Christians should aspire to.

[Forsaken]

I know people are going to object to this finding but for the life of me I can't really figure out why.

And if a single fragment of something was ever found supposedly supporting the existence of christ, they would all be jumping around proclaiming victory!