|
joke time
|
 RE: joke time
October 24, 2014 at 5:57 pm
(This post was last modified: October 24, 2014 at 6:41 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
A depressed unicorn went to see a psychiatrist who told him, 'You just need to believe in yourself.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I let my girlfriend down today.
I had to, to get her back in the box.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
When life hands you melons, get yourself tested for dyslexia. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 Quote:When life hands you melons, . ![[Image: d54377fceff688a0dc06ea98c4df6e2a.600x.jpg]](https://i0.wp.com/s.likes-media.com/img/d54377fceff688a0dc06ea98c4df6e2a.600x.jpg) Rejoice. 
an oldie but a goodie:
President Clinton is walking across the White House lawn preparing to board Chopper One. The Marine guarding the copter snaps a crisp salute and says, "Good day, sir". Thanks", president says. "I'm heading down to Little Rock to officiate the Arkansas State Fair". The guard: "Have a good trip, sir". Two days later the president returns and is disembarking the chopper carrying a hog under each arm. The same guard snaps that salute and says, "Welcome back sir, nice hogs". "Yeah", Bill says, "they're prime Arkansas Razorbacks. I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea". "Nice trade, sir."
Two Irish fellas decide they've have enough of the back-break of construction work and take all their savings to open a pub. The choose a prime location, refurbish it, decorate it to the hilt, stock it with the most popular beers they can find, and - nothing. No custom at all.
This dismal state of affairs drags on for a couple of weeks and one fella turns to the other and says, 'Pity we opened a pub. We should have opened a brothel.' 'Ara, it's touched in the head, ye are,' says his friend. 'If we can't get people to drink beer, how t' hell are we supposed to get 'em to drink broth?' Boru '
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
It's said if you truly love someone, let them go.
Just seems a waste of duct tape to me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Hear about the depressed Eskimo? He was eaten by a bipolar bear.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning. After ten minutes interesting discussion, she handed me a pamphlet and told me I'd find it useful.
She was quite right. I scrunched it up into a ball and threw it at her.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
| Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
| No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2748 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
| A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3310 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
| Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1607 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
| There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2539 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
| Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18801 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
| A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4743 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
| Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9434 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
| Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1993 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
| Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4844 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
| Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3050 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
|
