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RE: joke time
February 10, 2015 at 3:10 pm
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
February 10, 2015 at 3:16 pm
How do you know if a woman has been using your computer?
There's tipex on the screen.
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RE: joke time
February 13, 2015 at 6:35 pm
(This post was last modified: February 13, 2015 at 6:35 pm by Cyberman.)
This Valentine's Day, as usual I'm going to be inundated.
Bloody autocorrect.
I meant to say I'm going to be in. Undated.
:`(
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
February 13, 2015 at 7:29 pm
I've noticed that, around Valentine's Day, a lot of people put roses on a piano.
Me, I've always preferred tulips on my organ.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
February 14, 2015 at 6:33 am
NIPPLES
without them, tits are pointless
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
February 14, 2015 at 6:35 am
(This post was last modified: February 14, 2015 at 6:36 am by robvalue.)
A family of particles is walking to church. But they are stopped outside, and told they have been banned!
"But you must let us in!" says daddy particle.
"Oh yeah, why is that?" says the church busybody.
"Without particles, there can be no mass!"
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RE: joke time
February 14, 2015 at 6:38 am
Sciency jokes, eh?
Y'all probably heard that one a million times already, but...
Helium walks into a bar.
The barman says "We don't serve chemical elemets here"
Helium doesn't react.
I'll go stand in the corner.
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RE: joke time
February 14, 2015 at 8:02 am
An hotel guest calls for an escort. When she arrives, the door to the man's room is slightly ajar and, peeking through, she can see him lying naked on the bed. His equipment doesn't look like much; in fact, she can even see the word 'little' tattooed on it.
Slipping carefully away from the door, she calls a co-worker and asks if she'll take the job. The other girl agrees.
A few days later, the two of them meet up, and the original escort says, 'Thanks for taking that client for me.'
Her friend answers, 'I should be thanking you - he was terrific! And you should have seen his tattoo: VICE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF PRODUCTION, MAINTENCE AND DISTRIBUTION, DANDO DRILLING COMPANY, LITTLEHAMPTON, WEST SUSSEX.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
February 14, 2015 at 11:22 pm
(This post was last modified: February 14, 2015 at 11:23 pm by IATIA.)
A blind man walks into a bar.
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Last night I almost had a threesome.
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy