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Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:02 am

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joke time
RE: joke time
ROFLOL
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
How do you know if a woman has been using your computer?

There's tipex on the screen.
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RE: joke time
This Valentine's Day, as usual I'm going to be inundated.

Bloody autocorrect.

I meant to say I'm going to be in. Undated.
:`(
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
I've noticed that, around Valentine's Day, a lot of people put roses on a piano.

Me, I've always preferred tulips on my organ.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
NIPPLES

without them, tits are pointless

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
A family of particles is walking to church. But they are stopped outside, and told they have been banned!

"But you must let us in!" says daddy particle.

"Oh yeah, why is that?" says the church busybody.

"Without particles, there can be no mass!"
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.

Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum
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RE: joke time
Sciency jokes, eh?

Y'all probably heard that one a million times already, but...

Helium walks into a bar.
The barman says "We don't serve chemical elemets here"
Helium doesn't react.

I'll go stand in the corner.
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RE: joke time
Ooh! No I've not heard that one, nice Smile

Why did a man hold two children underwater until they drowned?

Because they were pissing me off.
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.

Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum
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RE: joke time
An hotel guest calls for an escort. When she arrives, the door to the man's room is slightly ajar and, peeking through, she can see him lying naked on the bed. His equipment doesn't look like much; in fact, she can even see the word 'little' tattooed on it.

Slipping carefully away from the door, she calls a co-worker and asks if she'll take the job. The other girl agrees.

A few days later, the two of them meet up, and the original escort says, 'Thanks for taking that client for me.'

Her friend answers, 'I should be thanking you - he was terrific! And you should have seen his tattoo: VICE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF PRODUCTION, MAINTENCE AND DISTRIBUTION, DANDO DRILLING COMPANY, LITTLEHAMPTON, WEST SUSSEX.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
A blind man walks into a bar.


Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?


What do you call a sleepwalking nun?


Last night I almost had a threesome.

You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
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