Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 17, 2024, 3:02 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Famous last words (of Jesus)
#11
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"Do it to Julia! Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia! I don't care what you do to her. Tear her face off, strip her to the bones. Not me! Julia! Not me!"
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#12
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"I'd applaud you for your carpentry, but, you know..."
*nods head towards hands*
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Reply
#13
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"Where are the white women at?"
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Reply
#14
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
'NAILED IT'
Reply
#15
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
On a more serious note, he did have some rather famous last words:

Quote:At three o’clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Mark 15:34   Mathew 27:48   NRSV

Of course if Jesus, god, and the holy spirit are one, they are words that don't make much sense especially since Jesus is supposed to have known he'd be resurrected.  They are also a quotation rather than original to Jesus.


Quote:My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

    Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;
    and by night, but find no rest.
Psalm 22:1-2 NRSV

Sounds a great deal more the words of a man, rather than a god, even a god in human form.


But if you don't like "why hast thou forsaken me, there's Luke's Jesus who has a rather more positive outlook:

Quote: Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”
Luke 23:46  NRSV

Now there's a Jesus who thinks he's going to heaven.  Doesn't sound like he expects to get the same old body back though.

Don't like that?  John's got another version.


Quote:After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfill the scripture), “I am thirsty.” A jar full of sour wine was standing there. So they put a sponge full of the wine on a branch of hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the wine, he said, “It is finished.” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19:28-30

But theologeons are divided about exactly what scripture was being fulfilled.  Funny that.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god.  If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
Reply
#16
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"




Edited to add:




"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
Reply
#17
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
[Image: greatfuckignidea.jpg]
Reply
#18
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"I can see my house from here."

"I caught a fish and it was this big"

"What am I doing? just hanging around"

"Nailed it!"

"Why am I doing this again?"



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Reply
#19
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
*In an old Jewish man's voice*
"What is this, spruce? You couldn't get the mahogany?"
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Reply
#20
RE: Famous last words (of Jesus)
"So I walked up to Pilate and said, hey, can you put me up for the night?"

ba dump bump
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Worst last/surnames brewer 25 2399 June 30, 2023 at 6:26 pm
Last Post: brewer
  Little Known quotes from famous people... Brian37 7 597 January 5, 2020 at 3:04 am
Last Post: Brian37
  45's versions of famous quotes...add yours. Brian37 14 1401 September 3, 2019 at 6:38 am
Last Post: Brian37
  The last vid my late mother and I agreed on Brian37 2 335 April 19, 2019 at 7:49 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Translating Theistic Words The Valkyrie 6 557 April 5, 2019 at 6:50 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Famous quotes in Gibberish....... Brian37 7 1210 March 6, 2019 at 7:28 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Spell your last name please.... Brian37 9 1831 October 12, 2018 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: Fireball
  PBS Independent Lens: The Last Laugh vorlon13 5 1013 May 5, 2017 at 10:48 am
Last Post: Rev. Rye
  Playing with words and a news story. Brian37 6 1210 April 17, 2017 at 3:53 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  GAME - when was the last time you ? ignoramus 22 2472 July 24, 2016 at 8:15 pm
Last Post: c172



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)