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joke time
RE: joke time
Not a lot of blokes realize it, but women have a very subtle code they use when they're absolutely about to have sex with you.  Keep it to yourself, but it's:




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I’ve known thousands of women in the biblical sense.

And by ‘biblical sense’ I mean ‘made-up women who never really existed.’

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 10, 2020 at 5:55 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I’ve known thousands of women in the biblical sense.

And by ‘biblical sense’ I mean ‘made-up women who never really existed.’

Boru

You ever do Helen White? How was she? [/George Carlin]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Reply
RE: joke time
If my grandmother knew how much I spent on her funeral, she’d be spinning in her ditch.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I cried the first time I made love to a woman.  It may have been the physical release, it may have been the emotional connection...




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I once told a joke to a dwarf, but it went over his head.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
^
I hope it didn't throw him for six! Hehe
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
My gran used to knit me jumpers every Christmas, and they were dreadful. One year, she made me this burgundy monstrosity - sleeves different lengths, collar crooked, bit of yarn unraveling here and there. But the worst bit was, she had embroidered it across the front with the words ‘FOREIGNERS GO HOME’.

I hated to hurt her feelings, but this was over the line. I told her, ‘Gran, I can’t wear this...




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I was going to donate a kidney, but I changed my mind because the people at the hospital were asking all sorts of stupid questions, like, ‘Where did you get this?’ and ‘Why are your hands all bloody?’

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 13, 2020 at 8:53 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I was going to donate a kidney, but I changed my mind because the people at the hospital were asking all sorts of stupid questions, like, ‘Where did you get this?’ and ‘Why are your hands all bloody?’

Boru

You need to go to Beccs' Online Chop Shop.

"No questions asked, no answers given"
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply



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