Damned Protestants...

[Tonus]

Hey Min, did you see this one? :

http://crooksandliars.com/2014/04/minist...rd-made-it

Tornambe, now 27, said that she met Barnard at the age of 9 as a part of her parents' home schooling. At age 11, her family joined the “Shepherd’s Camp.” And then, Barnard chose her to be "sacrificed to God" by raping her at age 13 in 2000. The rapes continued over the course of nine years.

Jesus is thinking about that weekend he spent being beaten and tortured and hung on a cross, and he just realized that he could've accomplished the same thing by buggering a little girl. Boy, doesn't he feel dumb!

[Minimalist]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/04/24/in...s-to-send/

A former Campus Life Director for Youth for Christ from Huntington, Indiana pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges that he sexually exploited a minor.

Nathan Hasty used a fake Facebook page to solicit naked photographs from children, including ones who belonged to Youth for Christ. An FBI agent tasked to the case told WANE that Hasty established multiple Facebook accounts under false names in order to initiate conversations of a sexual nature with underage boys.

Eventually, he would attempt to coerce the boys into sending him nude photographs.

Praise, Jay-sus!

[YahwehIsTheWay]

He can stop the sun in the sky but a car with bad brakes is beyond him!

Oh come on, Min, you already know the answer as to why.

Judges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

You see, our Lord Yahweh is like Superman with fantastic powers but just one weakness. Iron is His Cryptonite.

[Doggey75]

Judges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

You see, our Lord Yahweh is like Superman with fantastic powers but just one weakness. Iron is His Cryptonite.

So God is no omnipotent? Hmm

[YahwehIsTheWay]

So God is no omnipotent? Hmm

Not according to The Holy Bible. Phony Christians who've never gotten around to reading this book (which is to say, most self-professed Christians) will claim otherwise but they're just ignorant.

As an aside, what is the deal with these Christians? They consider the Bible to be The Word of God but have never found the time to read it? What's up with that? I mean, it's embarrassing that atheists know scripture far better then most of us do. But back to the topic...

First, our Lord Yahweh is not omniscient. When he drops by Abraham's place for lunch he explains his quest to visit the city of Sodom where he's heard terrible rumors that people with similar body parts were doing the nasty. The Lord really hates that for some reason. Now it's not my place to ask the Lord about His hang ups and inquire why he's obsessed with teh gays. Like most True Christians ™, I simply do and think as I'm told. Love is evil when the body parts are similar. Praise the Sweet Name of Jesus!

Genesis 18:21 I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.

So apparently Yahweh needs to go check on this matter, so he's not omnipotent.

As an aside, I always hate it when Yahweh drops in unexpectedly for lunch. It's not like I regularly keep a supply of nectar and ambrosia.

Anyhoo, the good Lord isn't omnipotent either, as the poor guy needed a breather after creating the universe. I mean, not that I judge or anything. He did, afterall, whip up trillions of stars as an afterthought in Genesis 1:16 ("he made the stars also") but the fact that he needed to rest and was "refreshed" kind of tells us the big guy's power is limited (not to mention that the Lord NEEDED six days, I mean, that's impressive and all, but he couldn't do it instantly?).

Genesis 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

He later relates to Moses that he sure needed that breather.

Exodus 31:17 It is a sign between me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed.

So if the Lord needs to be "refreshed" by taking a break, that rather suggests a limited pool of power.

And then there's the part where Yahweh wrestles with Jacob and loses:

Genesis 32:24-30 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.
And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.
And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.
And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.
And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.
And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.

But at least The Lord is a good sport when He loses, right?

No, it's not until Revelation and Handel's Hallelujah Chorus where the Lord God becomes "omnipotent". I've prayed on that and come to the conclusion that The Lord got more powerful over time, like a character "leveling up" and acquiring more Feats and Class Abilities. Evidently He's retained the "allergy to iron" as a character weakness. I bet He got a lot of points for that from the GM.

Thus endeth YITW's latest Bible Study.

Praise the Sweet Name of Jesus!

[Minimalist]

You see, our Lord Yahweh is like Superman with fantastic powers but just one weakness. Iron is His Cryptonite.

There's little iron in most cars, though. More like aluminum and fiberglass.
Guess he's a bit of a pussy about them, too.

[YahwehIsTheWay]

There's little iron in most cars, though. More like aluminum and fiberglass.

Maybe it's any shiny metallic substances of any kind. Or maybe since our Lord isn't omnipotent, He didn't know iron has gone out of fashion with our modern chariots. Or maybe it's a bit of PTSD, even after these many years after His defeat at the hands of the Hill People. I hear that never goes away and who's going to be The Lord's shrink?

Guess he's a bit of a pussy about them, too.

The LORD IS A MAN!!!!! And a REALLY BIG MAN too!!!!

He showed off his impressive cock to Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 1:27 And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it, from the appearance of his loins even upward, and from the appearance of his loins even downward, I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and it had brightness round about.

The Lord should drop by Area 69 and post some dick pics. He'd put all these hellbound heathens to shame.

[Tonus]

Maybe it's any shiny metallic substances of any kind. Or maybe since our Lord isn't omnipotent, He didn't know iron has gone out of fashion with our modern chariots. Or maybe it's a bit of PTSD, even after these many years after His defeat at the hands of the Hill People. I hear that never goes away and who's going to be The Lord's shrink?

I guess if you take a chariot to the groin enough times, you're bound to develop a twitch.

[Doggey75]

Not really sure if YahwehIsTheWay is a troll or not....

[YahwehIsTheWay]

Not really sure if YahwehIsTheWay is a troll or not....

I'm the resident True Christian ™ of this forum. Every atheist forum should have one.

Trolls don't read the Bible. Every belief that I profess is 100% grounded in scripture. I represent what every Christian would believe if we actually read the Bible and chose to believe every word.

You can dismiss me if you want but you can't dismiss the Bible. Well, you can as an atheist but a self-professed Christian can't. I'm always ready to quote chapter and verse.

TM: True Christian is a trademark of Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine institution because I can't afford their tithing scheme. Maybe someday if I ever strike it rich.