First, let me echo the sentiments of your other well-wishers. I'm reminded of the inscription inside King Solomon's ring - "This too shall pass." The good times never last and bad times fade away. i was particularly touched by your reconciliation with your father.
Divine hiddenness is very difficult. It is the primary problem that lead me towards atheism in the past. Even after coming to faith, I cannot say that God in any direct way speaks to me or even provides much guidance. The clear guidance God gave to you in the past is a gift that I cannot say I have much enjoyed. The "soft, still voice" always seems too soft and too still. I have other reasons for my assurance in the workings of Providence. There are many ways to 'hear' God, not the least of which is the sometimes painful recognition of how much we rely upon His Grace.
That said, I think it a mistake to tangle up your commercial business with your inner spiritual life. You run the risk of falling into the trap of a prosperity gospel. Scripture tells us that the sun shines on the righteous and the wicked alike.
I also found your step of examining your life for unrecognized sin very disturbing. This is the flip-side of the prosperity gospel heresy. The bible gives us no assurance that our lives will be easy and problem free. If anything believers should expect greater difficulties. Your problems are not a punishment for sin. That's just bad 700 Club theology. AIDS was not God's judgement on homosexuals nor was Hurricane Katrina vengeance on an unrighteous city. Until the New Jerusalem arrives we will live in a world corrupted by sin. When Paul says to rejoice in all things and that included the times of stress and great trouble, not just when things are going good.
Nevertheless, I will keep you in my prayers in the hope that the Holy Spirit will make His presence known to you in a powerful way.
Divine hiddenness is very difficult. It is the primary problem that lead me towards atheism in the past. Even after coming to faith, I cannot say that God in any direct way speaks to me or even provides much guidance. The clear guidance God gave to you in the past is a gift that I cannot say I have much enjoyed. The "soft, still voice" always seems too soft and too still. I have other reasons for my assurance in the workings of Providence. There are many ways to 'hear' God, not the least of which is the sometimes painful recognition of how much we rely upon His Grace.
That said, I think it a mistake to tangle up your commercial business with your inner spiritual life. You run the risk of falling into the trap of a prosperity gospel. Scripture tells us that the sun shines on the righteous and the wicked alike.
I also found your step of examining your life for unrecognized sin very disturbing. This is the flip-side of the prosperity gospel heresy. The bible gives us no assurance that our lives will be easy and problem free. If anything believers should expect greater difficulties. Your problems are not a punishment for sin. That's just bad 700 Club theology. AIDS was not God's judgement on homosexuals nor was Hurricane Katrina vengeance on an unrighteous city. Until the New Jerusalem arrives we will live in a world corrupted by sin. When Paul says to rejoice in all things and that included the times of stress and great trouble, not just when things are going good.
Nevertheless, I will keep you in my prayers in the hope that the Holy Spirit will make His presence known to you in a powerful way.
