I don't understand; why do people defend things such as the confederate flag

[J a c k]

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I admit this only because I want own up to my mistakes and let others in on the mindset of people like my family. I used to be a racist. Y'all think you were indoctrinated with religion try growing up in a racist household. Well I mean it was religious too but when I told my step dad I was an atheist he laughed and said it was a phase. When I tried to have a black boyfriend... well that only happened once and I never dated one again out of fear.

I haven't even read the rest of this thread until I say my side so I'm not getting multiple directions here with my thoughts. I will tell you right now that the confederate flag IS about racism and the racists will fight tooth and nail to pretend it's not. For most of my childhood I looked up at the living room walls at five hand drawn portraits of confederate generals with confederate flag backgrounds. A few other confederate flags hung around that house. I was taught that racism was okay because we as whites were better than black people. I laughed at racist jokes at ten years old and retold them to friends. My first bikini was the confederate flag and my first car had it on the bumper sticker. When people said the civil war was about slavery I became livid. I would get so passionate about how it was about states rights not slavery. About how the states never signed up for letting the federal government dictate all the laws and just like during the revolution the states just wanted to have their own say. That bumper sticker I mentioned? It said "If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson."

Why wouldn't it offend? I don't care that it's not the real confederate flag as we racists used to say it still represents a time when half the population wanted to keep a whole race of people as property. The racists still hold that flag dear to them. Despite me saying it was about southern heritage not racism I knew the truth just like every racist I knew. If a white person hung around black people we would harass them and they would be labeled as wiggers. But still we claimed that flag was NOT racist... how did we even pretend that made sense?

My step father was my hero and he was the most racist person I have ever met but he was my hero because he was cool. He had long hair, rode motorcycles, had tattoos everywhere, listened to rock metal... so different from my army mom and biological father. The racism was taught to me by him and my soldier mother was the bread winner and never home enough to keep telling me it was wrong (plus I mean really she said she hated the racism and the flag but yet let it hang in our house so...) This is how racism breeds. It is passed down and taught that is isn't bad. It's taught that the generals were just fighting for the only way of life they knew. That it is a part of history and the lives lost still honored (mind you this is the weak excuse why there are death threats about New Orleans taking down the confederate statues which is pathetic)

I got away from my step father and the longer I was away from him the more I realized how horrible of a human being he was. The years past and with horror I saw who I had become and it sickens me to think of the things that once came out of my mouth. It sickens me to see other people still like that. Then again I got away from my bad influence, they didn't. Which is so sad and why there are still so many still defending these things. They were taught by people they loved and trusted to act and think this way and have no reason to think they are wrong. All I personally can do is tell my story so that maybe someone will realize that loved ones aren't automatically morally good.

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This is an honest post. I wish I could throw more kudos at it. Thank you.