What beliefs would we consider reasonable for a self proclaimed Christian to hold?

[robvalue]

We're "hung up on dreams", but you're on a mission from an invisible sky fairy that is so irrelevant that I haven't even noticed it once in my 40 years of life? The irony would be funny to you if you could see it.

What's the mission again? To save people from the wrath of that same sky fairy? No one is willingly going to walk into a torture room. If Jesus puts us in there, or watches as one of his lackies does, then it's his responsibility. If we have to kiss his ass so he won't torture us, then I'm out. He can do what he has to do. I don't trust the word of insane dictators.

If God needs your help to even convince us he is real, he must be feeble indeed. If he could stop playing hide-and-seek and come talk to us in a reasonable adult manner, that would be great.

(Yeah, yeah, atheists are so mean. All I did was walk into an atheist forum and preach to them, acting like a condescending douche, and they started calling me on my bullshit.)