Jokes

[Kyuuketsuki]

My Elbow Really Hurts
A man complained to his friends " My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor".

His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you that you can do about it. It only costs $10."

The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow - Soak your arm in warm water - Avoid heavy labor - It will be better in 2 weeks".

The man was amazed! Later that evening while thinking about how incredible this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he started to get skeptical...he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.

The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:
“Your tap water is too hard - Get a water softener.”
“Your dog has worms - Give him vitamins.”
“Your daughter's on drugs - Put her in rehab.”
“Your wife is pregnant - It ain't yours--get a lawyer.”
“And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”

Kyu