Black Pill Dating Theory?

[GrandizerII]

I think one of the difficulties faced by ugly lonely people is that so many folk find it very difficult to appreciate that aesthetics and luck play so big a factor in relationships.

People are often saturated with the false messages that there is someone for everyone, that looks aren't important, that character beats all, and that if you're unable to find a relationship it must be because of some fault of yours - you're too picky, you lack confidence, you don't try hard enough, you must be a bad person etc.

Even my sex and relationship therapist found this hard to accept.  She was somewhat incredulous that I had been so ill treated through my life because of my looks.  She would act confused saying things like, 'but you're so confident, positive, intelligent etc?'  And I'd have to remind her that the issue wasn't my personality but that I was physically unattractive.  At one time she thought that I would have greater success on fetish dating apps because she thought that they would be less interested in appearance.  Of course, the results were the same as for tinder and bumble etc.  Many men can go on a dating app and get a dozen likes or less over months.  My girlfriend can get hundreds in a couple hours, lol.  Looks (and gender and sexuality) dominate.

For casual dating, flings, and all that, yes, things like good looks will matter a lot. People with lots of options tend to be really picky on dating apps. Trying to pick up girls in bars or nightclubs is also going to be a bad idea.

But it doesn't mean all hope is lost for people who are deemed physically unattractive by society, because - when it comes to serious relationships - things like connection, compatibility, comfort are qualities that matter a lot to many people, even moreso than looks, charisma, and wealth in many cases. I've seen a lot of people who aren't exactly attractive physically be in relationships. And there are a lot of physically attractive people who have never been in a relationship even while they're nearing their thirties or fourties. Sometimes it's all about just being somewhere at the right place and time and having a constant connection with someone so that eventually they grow on you and you start to have feelings for them. You might even be deemed unattractive "universally" but someone will still find something cute and adorably quirky about you and love you for it.

Incels need to learn to take ownership and not continue to blame others for their faliures. They don't need to be the hottest guy in town to be in relationships, but they need to be pleasant, genuine, the opposite of entitled and stop trying to be something they're not. Having a good presentation also helps of course, but pretty much anyone can do that if they put in the effort.

Also, you have a girlfriend and was once married, lol. You're a bad example for the point you've been making here.