Ask a transsexual anything

[TaraJo]

Has transexuality, or alike, been observed among animals?

Edit; the question might be silly, but is not meant offensive ofcourse.

I've heard of a study where, yeah, not only have they found it in animals but the scientists actually caused it in them. Newborn female mice were injected with testosterone. At first, no big deal but later on in life, they began exhibiting masculine behaviors to the point that they were trying to have sex with other mice like a male mouse would. The interesting thing about mice is that they're born while their brains are still developing. The theory they got from that is that interuterine hormone levels have a pretty big impact on it.

Are you oftern ill treated, discriminated and bullied?

If yes. How do you coop with it?

How much more difficult is life as a transsexual person?

It varies from person to person, obviously. Some people just breeze through transition without a problem (if you want an example, look up "Kim Petras".) Other people get murdered just because they're wearing the wrong clothes.

As for me, it doesn't happen that much but I think I'm actually passing pretty well, or at least well enough that the haters don't know.

I wasn't always so lucky, though. Before, when I didn't pass, life was more difficult. That was when I was homeless and things felt hopeless. If I had to pick one, specific time as an example of discrimination, my most obvious example would be the crisis center. I had gotten to Tulsa. I had little to no money, my parents didn't want much to do with me, I had no income, no place to stay and no real resources that I could rely on and no real friends. I knew I was a step away from an emotional meltdown and even though I was offered a temporary place to stay, I choose to go to the psychological crisis center simply because I was afraid I'd kill myself otherwise. End result, though, was that they refused to take me in. Several times. In fact, I would go down the street to a gas station, get a broken bottle and start cutting myself out there in front of everybody. The police would get there, take me to the psych hospital and the psych hospital would send me right back out there even when I told them as soon as I got out I was going to go right back to cutting (if not worse). It was a cycle that went on for awhile and it was pretty difficult. That's part of the problem with discrimination, though: when and if people discriminate, they don't tell you outright that they're discriminating. They give you some other reason and you have to make a guess whether their reason is real or made up.

Do you get offended if someone calls you a man in an obviously derogatory manner?

Sometimes, yeah. Othertimes, I just respond back with something "Really? Do you really think nobody has ever told me that before? You're going to have to dig deeper than that if you want to get to me." Usuallly it's hard to get to me if I know you're trying to get to me (if that makes any sense).

As a friend, how can I make the transition easier for zir?

$15,000 would be nice. :p

On a more serious note, just treat me like you would any other girl.

Past that, it's up to the individual. Some things that one person wants another person gets upset with.

Does it oftern happen that people think that you are not transsexual, meaning that they think that you are women?

I thought both of you were women when I registered here.

Well, we ARE women. Are you saying we aren't?

Sometimes it happens. It still surprises me when it does simply because there's abig art of my brain that doesn't think I pass that well yet. But I had some girls try to include me in a conversation they were having about their menstrul cycle and that was a little awkward. Another guy at school found my fetlife profile and judging from his reaction, I'd guess he didn't know beforehand, either.

What would you tell heterosexuals about transgendered dealing with monogamy? I'll cheat a bit here because I would answer that humans are individuals. I personally think no matter your sexuality you are just as capable of both pluralism and monogamy on an individual level.

I have a friend in the trans community who is in a plural, long term romantic relationship. I also know others who are still with the same partner they had years before they transitioned. It's far too common for a marriage/relationship to end when one partner transitions, though. I can't say I'm surprised; If I had been in a romantic relationship five or six years ago, it would probably be with someone who is interested in men. Nowadays, I'm not expecting people to be into me because they like men and that would have put a strain on the relationship. That's not to say it doesn't happen, though. If a couple has a relationship where they feel connected enough on a psychological and emotional level, they can stick it out even if one partner isn't attracted to both sexes (or isn't attracted to their partner as a different sex). I think that's where monogamy can be a little tough for us, though, because when we start to lose the physical traits that our partner is so attracted to, a lot of us find our partners going out there to find someone else with those traits. So, even if we have a partner who wants to stay with us in good faith, it strains things that they have greater temptation.

I'm also going to say, it can work in reverse, too. I know, before I took hormones, I tried to be into guys and it just felt 'icky.' Then I was no estrogen for a few months and I remember being outside a restraun and seeing a waiter on smoke break. He had his shirt partially unbuttoned and I remember thinking to myself "Damn I'd like to see what he looks like with that shirt taken the rest of the way off." The thought came out of nowhere and caught me by surprise and it kinda officially told me I'm into guys now, too. Still like girls, though, but the point is that it seems to vary for everyone. Some people it changes, some people it doesn't. Some like girls more, some like guys more. I've talked to a lot of guys who have some storie to tell about what testosterone did to their libido (I believe one of them called it a 'horney roller coaster from hell').

But, in general, like most things with the effect of hormones, your milage may vary.