Ask a transsexual anything

[Brian37]

How accurate is The World According to Garp's depiction of transsexuality?

Can't say I've seen it or read the book, but I can't imagine it's too accurate. Most pop culture references to transsexuals fall into either the 'pathetic transsexual' category or the 'trap.' Most of the ones I know are neither.

Can you do a hand stand?

The only sport that I ever got into was baseball, mostly because my dad is mildly obsessed with the sport. No, I can't do a handstand, but I can probably still hit a decent fastball.

Alright, I'll bite.

Violet said in the other thread that she hasn't altered her body. HRT is altering your body though, even if you haven't had surgery, and I wonder why you don't see it this way?

The changes that come along with hormones are more of a slow, gradual change, especially for male-to-female transsexuals. Plus, most of the effects can be reversed if you stop hormones (altough, I'm pretty sure my bewbs have gotten to the point where it would take more than stopping hrt have a flat, manly chest). I would have needed to see the context of what she was saying to tell better; link?

Along the same lines, why do you want HRT anyway? HRT is required by pretty much all transsexuals, but almost no non-transsexuals. Why?

Without hrt, my body naturally produces testosterone. Yucky stuff; makes me all hairy and that 'thing' down there keeps getting excited all the time because of that stuff! Most importantly for me is the psychological effect of hormones. Before, I was angry all the time and that anger turned me violent. Now that I have the chemicals in my brain fixed, I feel 'right.' If that make any sense. I'm still firmly convinced that my brain simply wasn't designed to deal with that amount of testosterone.

Next. People can be reasonably expected to differ over how they interoperate your gender. By being transsexual you would understand this to be the case. I as a non-transsexual have no ambiguity over my gender, it isn't a topic for open debate. With that said, I understand your gender identity causes a great deal of stress, anxiety, worry, conflict, and other problems. By definition alone a transsexual has a different gender identity to their biological gender. Do you expect people to agree with your gender identity?

I understand that it took me nearly 30 years to really come to terms with who I am an accept myself and I understand that the people who knew me before won't get it overnight, either, so I'm more than willing to give them some leeway. We don't transition in a bubble, y'know.

As for romantic partners, I'm also aware that while I'd like to be able to say "anyone who's attracted to women should be interested in me," I also realize that some people are attracted to specific genitals. So if someone only likes vagina, it doesn't matter whether they like men or women, they won't really be into what I have in my pants.

I have other people who, once finding out I'm trans, immediately start asking questions of a sexual nature. That can be kinda rude (I mean, how would you like it if the first thing someone did when they met you was ask you probing, intimate questions about your genitals?). For the most part, that's why I don't usually try to make too big a deal out of my being trans.

With most people, though, the issue doesn't come up. And I'm just fine with that.

Walk on the Wild Side -or- Lola?

Neither. If I'm going to be sexual with someone, I always make sure they know before we do anything. Especially if it's a man I'm going to do anything with. There are way too many girls who have been killed because her boyfriend found out at a bad time and I don't want to be one of them.

It sucks that there is that much bigotry still out there.

I went to a pro choice rally in DC years back and a gay couple invited me to spend the night to save money on hotel. So they were nice, had a party with all types. But there was one drunk grabby guy who grabbed my ass. I wasn't pissed that he was gay, I was pissed that he grabbed me. Just like a women would rightfully get pissed if I grabbed them. They threw the jackass out and apologized. I told them it wasn't their fault, they didn't do it.

Bottom line, getting hit on or hitting on someone is normal and we cant help what we are attracted to. But no one has the right to assault you or anyone simply because you are not attracted to them.

Honesty up front. That's what it amounts to. And heteros should not fear getting hit on by the same sex. Just simply say "I am flattered, but no thanks". No different than when we turn down the opposite sex for any reason.