Another person shot by an infant with a gun.

[Minimalist]

A bullet to the knee will stop someone much faster than beaten them over the head with a nightstand.

Yes.... if you happen to have a loaded gun in your night table where you can get it in case of emergency. Locked up in a safe, unloaded, means that the nightstand is the more handy option.

Of course, if you keep a loaded gun in your night table then that "responsible gun owner" shit goes right out the window.

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Also muzzle-loaders are pretty damn cool. If only they weren't so damn inaccurate I'd try shooting targets with them more.

Oh, yeah... when I was in practice I (and making up paper cartridges) I could get off 3 shots per minute and reliably hit the berm behind the target at 50 yards. Accuracy was not a prime concern....the Bess does not even have sights.