Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist

[Clueless Morgan]

1) Do you think your dad wants to maintain a relationship with you? Or is your desire to maintain the relationship one-sided?

1) I think he want to keep a relationship, but I think it's only for the sake of saving my soul than for who I am. So it's difficult. My father is a chest full of secrets that will never surface.

Perhaps you could take some time for emotions to settle and then write in a letter or something (so it doesn't become a face to face confrontation) stating that you want to maintain a relationship with him and that it's your understanding that he wants to maintain one with you, but that in order for that to happen religion and atheism can't be discussed when you're together.

If it comes down to it, you can always invite him to unfriend you on facebook so that that doesn't start more fights, especially if that is one of the ways in which you tend to get into fights. Tell him that you're unfriending him and your reasons for doing so are to maintain a healthy relationship - that keeping that relationship strong is more important than you having access to his fb page. And if he wants to talk to you, he can email or call you, and likewise for you with him.

Try to be the bigger person and make the relationship happen. If it's important to you but he's resistant to letting the religio-babble drop, lay off for a few weeks and try again.

Things also might change once you start having kids (assuming you don't now?). Just don't leave the kids alone with your folks. :p

2) Where does your mom fit into all this? Can you bring her in as an ally or an intermediary between yourself and your father? Or is she 100% on his side and losing a relationship with him means losing them both?

2) My mom is on the same page with my father, she thinks I'm lying and that me leaving the church and becoming atheist is just something I've done to get at my dad because I'm mad at him. [snip] We still have an okay relationship, but she is no where near my side.

If you aren't as contentious with your mother you might try working through her instead of dealing directly with your dad. Try to establish with your mother the no-religious-talk rule and phase your dad into it.

Even if. It definitely all started back in the days of Brigham Young, as elcon noted. He would preach that it was fair to put a man to death for marrying a black person.

The religion should have died with that man.

Disagree.

It should have died with Joseph Smith.

My brother joined 20 years ago (sucked my mother in a decade later). He is far more unhinged and zealous than most of the apostolic Mormons I have met.

Isn't that the way? The adult converts are WAY more gung-ho about their new religion than ones born into it. You're making a conscious choice as an adult, but as a kid you're just going with the flow, doing what you're told.

I think that goes for most religions, though the more cultish ones might create more fervent adult converts.